When the Fire Ceased
by MareeMellark
Summary: This is an after Mockingjay story. Katniss and Peeta managed to survive. The war left on them permanent scars. And now, they shall fight for their future lives. After all that they've been through, they wished everything was bright... Darkness might still stay for a little longer... But the fire is finally ceasing. Will Katniss and Peeta find a way to find happiness again?
1. Chapter 1-3

**CHAPTER 1**

**4 months later**

This last 4 months have been a little confusing for me. I guess for Peeta too. We are living in the same house; Peeta's house. Mine only brings back memories about the war... and memories of her. My sister Prim, who died in that explosion. Thinking of her still brings tears into my eyes, so I always try to push it away, but today, I can't help remembering her. I still don't dare going to my house. Just to pick up some clothes. I'm afraid I'll never will gain enough courage to go back there... leave alone entering to Prim's room which no person has been in there since the bombing of District 12.

I'm sitting on the couch. It's been an hour since I got here, just after I haunted in the woods of 12 and stopped by my house to pick up something. And Peeta should be here by now. He always comes back from the bakery around 3:00 o'clock. I check my watch, it's 5:00 o'clock. I yawn. Maybe he just had some extra work and will be a little late. I try to realx, I didn't sleep last night, I had a nightmare, Prim was screaming full of terror, I couldn't find her... I couldn't because it was not Prim, it was the jabberjays. My eyelids are heavy, and I drit into sleep. I don't have nightmares though I don't have any dreams neither.

The sun entering through the window is what wakes me. It's morning, I can't belive I slept the whole night on the couch. I look around. Peeta is not here yet. If he were, he would have woken me up when he arrived. Doesn't he? I look around. he's not in his room or the kitchen or anywhere in the house.

Where is he? I start panicking. No, I can't panick. He's probably just late. He is okay.

I wait for a few minutes. And I can't hold it. I grab my boots and my coat and get out of the house.

The bakery is not far, 10 minutes from here. I finally arrive. He is usually in the back room frosting cakes. I wave hello to Jonas, the second in charge, and he waves back.

"Is Peeta here?". I ask

He looks around. "Guess not. It's too early, he comes a little later. He's not home?".

"He's not home." I say and turn around walking to the exit.

"Well I'll tell you if I see him!". Shouts Jonas from behind but I don't reply, I'm already outside the bakery.

He is not at the bakery and he's not home neither. Where could he possibly be? Maybe he's with Haymitch. I try to walk normally, but I just realized that I'm running. When I arrive, I knock the door, maybe a little too harshly.

"Haymitch!". I shout as I try to open the door and realize it's already open.

I step in. It smells of alcohol and sweat, the usual smell. Haymitch is sitting on the couch, with a bottle in his hand.

He turnd around and sees me, "Hi sweethert. Can I help you?".

"Hi. Have you seen Peeta?" I ask agitated.

"Mhmm... nope. Haven't seen him. Maybe he just got tired of you and went to live in the woods. Because you are such a nice person.".

I don't say anything. His expression changes. I think he regrets what he just said. "Sorry sweetheart, I have not seen him. I'll tell you if I do.".

I nod and start walking to the door. I need to get out of here. Not much because of Haymitch, but for the smell, it's making me dizzy. And I have to find Peeta.

I'm standing outside Haymitch's house, in the Victor's Village. It's freezing.

I walk to Peeta's house, maybe he is there by now. I enter. Nothing. He is not here.

Now I'm panicking. Where is he? Terrible things that might have happened to him start haunting me. I try to push away the thought as I realize I'm running again. I'll re-check the bakery.

I check my watch, it's 8:00 am, almost 9:00.

I finally arrive. I walk through the door and I don't remove the snow from my boots before entering, I don't take my coat off either.

"Hey Katniss! Did you find Peeta?" says Jonas from behind. "Are you okay?".

But I don't reply, I'm climbing the stairs. The bakery has two floors, though nobody goes to the second floor.

I look around. There's nothing but a few sacks of flour... and a door.

"Peeta?" I say. "Peeta!". I say louder this time. I'm about to open the door just as I hear a few noises. I hear footsteps, and whoever is in there starts opening the door, it's locked.

"Hey, Katniss" says Peeta catching his breath. "What's going on? Are you okay?" He says with bewilderment in his tone.

I realize I'm crying. My face is sticky with tears. "Peeta where were you? You scared me.".

He stares at me confused.

"You didn't get home last night Peeta! I couldn't find you anywhere.". I say.

He steps outside the little room and closes the door. "Yeah... sorry Katniss. I had many things to do, someone is having a party and I had to frost many cupackes and things, you know. But I left you a message with Haymitch last night. It was too late and I didn't want to wake you up so I left him a note so he could deliver it to you. Maybe he was just too drunk as usual. I'm sorry Katniss.". He says with a sad tone.

"It's okay Peeta" before I can stop myself, I wrap my arms around him. I catch him by surprise because he stumbles a little, but then he embraces me too. We stay there a brief moment.

I don't want him to see me like this. My face all covered with tears, so I wash them with the hem of my sweater. "Gosh. I hate crying" I say and smile a little as I look up to him because I feel him staring at me.

"Why were you-" he begins to ask. But I know what he's going to ask: Why are you crying? I don't know the answer eiher. I have some thought that need to be cleared. But not now, not now.

I interrupt his question instead, "What's in that room Peeta?" I ask pointing at the door behind him.

He hesitates, "Hmmm nothing, just a place where I can frost cakes alone, I can focus better." he says, though I don't buy it completely.

"Well, let's go home." Peeta says, "I owe you a dinner.".

"Okay.".

**CHAPTER 2**

And we go home. When we arrive, I take off my coat and sit on the couch as I watch Peeta walking to the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat?" asks Peeta from the kitchen.

"Hmmm... Surprise me!". I say.

"As you wish!" he says and I can hear a smile as he says it. "Why don't you help me with the dessert? We can make cupcakes!".

"Yum! But you know I am a terrible baker" I say as I join him in the kitchen.

"Now you are not".

"Well I'll try! But remember I tried to warn you".

I get the bowl out of the pantry but it slips through my hand and collapses on the floor. I bend down to pick it.

"Oh" Peeta says as he reaches for the bowl at the same time as me and our hands find each other just above the bowl. I look at his hand, a baker's hand. And mine, a haunter's hand. But his hand is so warm, and his touch makes me feel butterflies inside me. We look up at each other. It's like we are in slow motion as I stare into his eyes. The blue of his eyes startle me, it's amazing how you can get lost in someone's eyes. He leans and I do too. Now our faces are just a few inches away, I can feel his breath. I look at his lips. In a moment like this, I'm desperate to taste them. I almost forget the taste of his lips, but at the same time, I know it's impossible to forget such lips.

I want to kiss him, and I would have done it if the ring hadn't bell in that exact moment. I jump, Peeta does too. "I'll go.", he says startled. I can catch a flinch of blush in his cheeks.

I turn around before he can see me, I'm blushing red. "No, I'll go.", I say reaching for the doorknob.

I open the door catching my breath. "Haymitch" I exhale.

"Hi sweetheart.", he says. His breath smells of alcohol, yuck. He's got a bottle in his hand and a note in the other. "I forgot to give you this", he says giving me the note and taking a zip from his bottle.

I stare at it and I feel Peeta behind me.

"Oh, it looks like you don't need it anymore", he says as he looks at Peeta behind me. "Well, I need it." He takes it from my hand and uses it like a handkerchief. "I think I'm getting a flu. It's freezing cold, I'm gonna leave you two alone.".

"Well, thanks Haymitch for delivering the note to Katniss," says Peeta. "You know what they say, better late than never!". Haymitch waves with his bottle and walks away. I smile and close the door.

We go back to the kitchen and as far as I know, it's like nothing happened, like we were never about to kiss.

**CHAPTER 3**

We go back to the preparing of the dinner, we just exchange a few words, none of them touching the topic of the kiss. The almost-kiss.

I begin baking the cupcakes. Starting with the dough. My hands are focused on mixing the ingredients though my mind is on something else. This is the closest we have been to a kiss since we are living together. I have caught him staring at me but he has also caucht me staring at him, sometimes before I realize it, I found myself really looking at him, and sometimes, it's hard for me to look away. He teases me sometimes, and there had been a few hugs. That's the physical. But Peeta as he sometimes does, tells me I'm beautiful and what an amazing girl I am, though I do not believe him. At nights, -the time of the day I dread the most- we sleep on the same bed and we comfort each other, I've been held in his strong arms so many nights, just after I wake up screaming from a horrible nightmare in which I relive every dead of every person that have died in my life time. And Peeta is the only one who can calm me down, not completely, but I hope that time can fix that. I try to distract myself with the cupcakes but that's what they are, a distractiom because my mind keeps going back to the moment Peeta and I shared minutes ago. And not just that, why was I crying and couln't stop myself when I found him? It's not like he was hit again by the strenght of the force field in the arena. He was just missing... No, he wasn't missing, I just couldn't find him, he even left a note. I guess it's because I have lost everyone who I cared for. Part of me knows that that's true, a fact. But part of me does not believe that completely, part of me thinks that's not the main reason. But what is it?

"It looks like you want to kill that dough", says Peeta grinning.

I'm snapped back into reality by what he just said. I look down at the dough, the ingredients are already mixed, I guess they've been mixed for a while now. "Oh" is all I say.

"Here" says Peeta reaching for the bowl and pouring the mix into the mold.

"Dinner is almost ready."

"Okay, I'll set the table." I say just as the smell brushes my nostrils. "It smells delicious.". Peeta smiles.

I set the table. When I'm done, I sit and wait for Peeta.

Peeta gets out of the kitchen with a bowl in his hands, it smells delicious.

"Hungry?" he asks. He serves the food in both our plates.

"I'm starving" I say. "What is this Peeta? It really smells delicious". Just as I'm asking him I think I guess what it is. Could it be?

"Is this the Capitol lamb stew?" I ask surprisingly. I take a bite. It just doesn't smells delicious, it is delicious. It's sweet at the beginning and then like an explosion of flavors. "Mhmm! With dried plums!". Just like I remembered it. Delicious. If not better.

"I remember it was your favorite, not even during the war or after I was hijacked, I forgot it was your favorite. So I looked up for the recipe though I made a few alterations", he says smiling and I take another bite. "I'm glad you liked it". He smiles at me, and I smile back.


	2. Chapter 4-6

**CHAPTER 4**

When we finish our dinner, I'm completely full, I feel like I'm going to explode. But I couldn't help it, the lamb stew was exquisite, and I repeated at least twice. Plus the cupcakes, which weren't as bad as I thought they would be. Peeta is picking up the table and the dishes, I say I wanted to help but he insisted that he would do it, so I'm sitting on the couch outside the kitchen, watching him. We do not talk, he is washing the dishes and I'm just watching him. I really enjoyed our dinner... actually, I feel... happy. I haven't feel this happy in a long time. It's been a while since I felt really really happy. When I'm with Peeta I feel very good, he makes me laugh, and I've felt happy maybe a couple of times, or almost happy. But not this happy. It's strange, it's a nice feeling, I almost forgot what it felt like. I know that as suddenly as it came, it may go away. So I will enjoy it.

Peeta finally finishes with the dishes and comes to sit on the couch beside me. He put his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder. "Thanks Peeta, for the dinner. It couldn't be more delicious." I say looking up at him so I can meet his eyes.

"Welcome," he says. "I'm really glad you liked it.". We stare at each other, and again, when I stare into his eyes, it's like slow motion. But I look away first. I know that if I keep looking at those startling-blue eyes, I will get lost in them.

"Want to watch TV?" Peeta asks.

"Sure. Let's go.". I say.

Peeta turns the TV on, he goes through the channels and stops at the Capitol transmission. The program consists on some news of the Capitol and every so often, a message from the president. Just like right now, I can see President Paylor sitting behind her desk, Panem's flag just behind. She just announces that the war is completely over, and that things are starting to get better. She thanks us all but my eyelids are becoming more heavy with each blink. I yawn.

"Tired?", asks Peeta.

I was beginning to fall asleep but his voice snaps me back into reality. I yawn. "Yeah. Wanna go to sleep?" I say.

"Sure. I'm tired too." says Peeta. He turns the TV off. I get up from his lap and go upstairs, Peeta behind me. I change into my pajama in the bathroom. When I get up, Peeta is already laying on the bed. It's freezing cold but Peeta likes to sleep with the window open and I'm getting used to it. Some nights we also sleep with a little lamp lit. I turn off the lights except the little lamp beside my side of the bed and lay next to Peeta. He has his eyes closed but he's still awake. "Sorry for not coming home yesterday.". he mutters. "It's okay, I didn't have any nightmares." I say. "I slept the whole night on the couch". He snorts, "Now I feel worse", he says and smiles a little. "Don't be. You are here now.". I say looking at him, though his eyes are closed and he's not looking at me.

He's quiet now, asleep. "Good night", I whisper.

**CHAPTER 5**

It's almost midnight now and I was very tired but now, my mind won't shut up. It's full of thoughts, and each one of them, has to do with Peeta. I'm staring at him, the dim light of the lamp makes he's face look almost angelic. His expression is very relaxed, he's not having any nightmares. Good. I try to sleep or to look away but I find myself going back to him. I can't help looking at him. I stare at his long-blonde eyelashes, it's impressive how they doesn't tangle with each other when he blinks. I think of today. How I was so afraid because I couldn't find him, he wasn't even missing. He was just at the bakery and though I was sobbing when I found him. But why was I so afraid?

I move closer to him and I'm aching to touch him. Before I can stop myself my fingers begin exploring his face. What's happening with me? As I'm brushing his eyelids with my fingers and then his cheekbones, a tought emerges; and not from my mind, but from my heart. I care for him. I was so happy to find him, and to spend the evening with him. I realize that Peeta has become my source of happiness. No one had make me feel so happy. No one but my sister Prim. I thought no one could make me happy anymore and though he can. If I loose Peeta I could not be happy ever again. I can't loose him. My fingers finally finish their journey at Peeta's lips. I brush them with just my fingertips, very slowly, like if they were something precious and delicate. I stay there for a little while and then my fingers are not touching his mouth anymore, my lips are. I close my eyes as I touch my lips to his. It's just a slight touch and then I pull away. My face is just inches away from his and I brush his blonde hair with my hand.

"I love you", he whispers.

I stare at him, part of my belives he is dreaming but that does not stop me. "I love you too.". And then its quiet.

I love him... I love Peeta. I move away from Peeta without realising his hand from mine and stare into the cealing. I bite my lip, how couldn't I see it before? I guess part of me has always been aware of that, but I was too fool to see it. I feel butterflies in my stomach, and my heart is racing. I feel like I've never felt before, not since the beach in the Quarter Quell. But this is different. This is real. This could be real.

But maybe I'm getting too excited and I'm exaggerating? What if Peeta was just dreaming and doesn't remember anything in the morining? Maybe I'm dreaming too. I convince myself that this is a dream though I don't accomplish it completely. The smile washes away from my face but I keep bitting my lip, maybe too harshly because I think I caught a taste of blood. Maybe it's better like this, if he doesn't remember tomorrow. I could ruin things and they could get more confusing. I don't know what's exactly what I have with Peeta and whatever we have, I don't want to loose it. I try to push away the thoughts that float around my head, sleep is finally coming to me, so I release Peeta's hand and drift into sleep.

**CHAPTER 6**

That night, even though I had Peeta beside me, I had a nightamare. I'm back in District 13, I'm walking through the corridors. I walked so many times by this corridors that I couldn't forget them, I know exactly where I'm going: to the hospital. I open the door and stand on the doorway. Like if he sensed me metres away, Peeta is inches away from me, staring at me, I try but I don't see the blue of his eyes, instead I just found two hollow black eyes staring into my soul. "You." he mutters. "Mutt" he mutters louder this time. "No Peeta, it's me," I say. "Katniss".

But he just keeps staring at me. "Mutt!" he screams. "Mutt! You are a mutt!".

"No-", before I can finish, my vision clouds and I realize that Peeta's hands are around my throat. I can't breath, I'm choking. And then, everything goes black.

Now I'm at my room in District 13 as well. I catch a glimpse of yellow entering through the doorway. Prim. I can feel the tears coming. She's smiling but when she sees me, her smile fades. "You," she says. "Did you think that someone could really love you? That Peeta could really love you? You're wrong" she hisses and I stare in horror. I can't hold it and close my eyes and cover my ears. I crawl myself back and forth, finally, I gain enough courage to face whatever this nightmare has for me. When I open them, Peeta is sitting by the bed, I only see his back, but he isn't wearing cuffs anymore or the hospital's robe. But when he turns around, I see that his pupils are still completely black, they're inhumane. "Did you really think I could love you, Katniss?" he says. "I could never love you, I never did. I was clouded by your lies and your acting. You're nothing but a mutt". The rest of the nightmare I keep hearing the word mutt, said by all my loved ones, Peeta, Prim, Haymitch, my mom, even Gale.

I wake up, not screaming but I can almost breath and I'm sweating. Peeta is still asleep. I try to catch my breath. I can't be here anymore, I can't be near him. I get up from the bed very quietly in order not to wake Peeta and step out of the room. I don't even brush or braid my hair, I just grab my bood and my jacket and get out of the house. I need to be alone but I dread it, I feel like I'm still on a nightmare. I walk to the fence, it's useless now but it's still there anyway. I'm on the woods now, I grab my bow and arrows from behind a tree. I spot a squirrel, and aim for it. My breathing is finally calming. I hold the bow. In moments like this, my bow is just not a weapon, but a barrier between myself, and my feelings. I'm too distracted... by everything. I let the arrow fly but I miss. I try to take another arrow but instead, I drop to the ground crying. How could I be so stupid? They're right, I'm a mutt. I'm selfish, full of hatred... a mutt. No one could ever love me.

I feel on a nightmare right now, but I know this is reality. Well, reality is a nightmare.

The minutes pass, then the hours and I'm still lying on the ground helplessly, sobbing, hating myself.


	3. Chapters 7-8

**CHAPTER 7**

After what I think were a couple of hours or more, I have no more tears. They've all dried up. I still feel helpless, lost. And then, I pass out.

When I wake, I can tell it's past six o'clock. Peeta may be worried about me- if he even cares. I manage to sit down. I'm just on the spot where me and Gale used to meet before the Games. Sitting here, calms me down a little, very slowly though, but it helps. But just when my shaking begins to stop, I remember all the bad memories here, not just here but all of them, they haunt me.

I hear a noise behind me. I turn around. It's Peeta.

"Hey" he says catching his breath. "What's going on are you okay?". he says perplexed.

I turn around, I can't see him. Though he steps forward and reaches for me. "Katniss-"

"Stay away from me!" I say. "Don't touch me".

"Katniss, it's just me-"

"Don't!" I say and back off maybe too wildly.

He stares at me bewildered, confused. He stays there for a moment. Then, he sits beside me though far away from me, I still don't look at him. We stay there a while, and it's getting late, the sun is about to set.

"Is this for last night?" he asks looking at the ground, sadly.

Now I look at him. He remembers. But I don't answer, I just keep staring at him. "Was it true?" he says. "What you said?". I don't answer.

"Look Katniss, I need to know what's going on." he says. "Yesterday you were so kind and warm and what you did last night and now, all of a sudden you don't even let me come near you.".

I hesitate. He's right. I put us in this situation. It's my fault. Then I look at him and tell him about my nightmare, how everyone, even Prim, said I was a mutt and no one could ever love me.

Peeta waits a moment to take in what I just said and then he says, "Oh Katniss, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I will never forgive me for everything that I done when I was hijacked. It's my fault you feel like this right now".

"No, Peeta it's not-", I say lowly but he cuts me "Yes it is Katniss. And I know that this doesn't fix it but I didn't mean any of those things. It was the venom who was speaking for me, not me. And I know you are not a mutt. You aren't. If there's any mutt, that would be me. I still have flashbacks, I don't have control over myself, I black out. The other night, I lied to you, I didn't come home because I had cakes to frost, it was because I had a flashback, I was afraid to come home, I was afraid to hurt you-", he stops abruptly and a tear escapes from his eye. I come closer to him but not much.

"So you don't believe I'm a mutt?" I ask quietly.

Peeta looks up at me. "No, I don't believe it. I know you are not. Even with all that we've been through, I still know you are a beautiful person. I know you are wounded, I am too, and though you still have an open heart and we can mend each other." he stops for a moment. "You are the strongest person I've ever known".

Ha. Strong? I'm not strong, I'm weak, a nightmare nearly destroyed me. A tear escapes from my eye, and this time it's not because of fear but because of what he just said. "Oh Peeta", is all I can say. Now I'm beside him and I let him put his arm around me. The sun is set though there's still some light. We spend the rest of the evening crying in each other's arms, our hands in a strong embrace, we've been through so much, but Peeta can mend me, and I can mend him, and we will go on.

**CHAPTER 8**

I wake up, it's late morning. I don't usually wake up this early but yesterday was a tough day, Peeta and I went exhausted to bed. There are days, like yesterday, where I don't want to get up and live another day, but I know I have to, and with Peeta, it's easier. Peeta and I talked about my dream, and he made very clear that he doesn't think I'm a mutt, but we didn't touch the subject about the kiss, or that I said I loved him. We have to discuss it, the idea scares me, but we have to. I'm still afraid I might ruin our relationship... but as what? Friends, something else? I don't know.

Peeta is waking up. "Morning", he says.

"Morning", I say turning around to face him. "I had no nightmares. Did you?.

"No, I didn't", he says. We stay quiet for a moment.

"What are we doing today?", I ask.

Peeta stops a minute to think. "Wanna come to the bakery with me?", he says.

Sometimes I go with him and spend the day baking... well, he bakes, I just watch him. Me going to the bakery with him is more often than him going haunting with me. We both know that he's a terrible haunter, but I'm in no position to judge because I'm a terrible baker. Though I say, "Sure.". I climb off the bed.

Most mornings are a routine, we wake up, Peeta and I make breakfast and eat, then we take a shower and do whatever the day has for us. Today we're going to the bakery. When we are ready, we grab our coats and get out the house and walk to the bakery. District 12 was destroyed after the Quarter Quell, but now that war is over, things are getting back to normal. Some buildings are still destroyed, but new ones will be built. The square is ready now, there are a few shops, including the bakery, and the justice building.

We arrive, Peeta opens the door for me and we come in. Jonas waves us good morning and we wave back. It's still early so there aren't many customers yet. But the stantery where the cakes are placed, is almost empty, but Peeta and I will take care of that. I follow Peeta into the room where the cakes are baked and frosted. As I'm walking through the door, I remember the room where I found Peeta the other day, he said that he found better that room to work, but yesterday he told me he went there when he had a flashback. I won't ask what's really in there, though. I will wait and when he's ready, he'll tell me.

Peeta takes out the list Jonas gave him when we got here, what we have to do today, is on that list.

"Okay, we have to do some cakes, cookies, cupacakes...", he says looking at the list. "I'll bake them and you can help me with the frosting", he says looking at me now.

"Sounds good", I say.

Peeta launches into action and starts baking what I think it's a cake. I watch him. The time passes but when I look at him, time passes like a few seconds and minutes. When he bakes or paints, he has that concentrated look on his face, his faces changes so much with that look, he looks older, stronger, but I can still find those startling blue eyes, and I know they are Peeta's and only Peeta's. I know that even with that look on his face, below it, is the sweet but strong boy I know. The boy with the bread.

Peeta pushes the cake into the oven and says, "Done. Let's start with the frosting".

Together, we make the frosting, and in a matter of minutes, we already have a rainbow of frostings. I take a bit with my fingertip and take it to my mouth. "Mhmm, delicious", I say. Peeta smiles. "The cake is ready". He takes it out from the oven and passes it to me so I can start frosting it. I don't really know why Peeta wants me to help him with this part, this is where more delicacy is requiered and I'm not delicate. And not artistic like Peeta is either. I try my best to frost the cake but eventually give up and drop the frosting. "I can't", I mutter frustated. I didn't mean to say it out loud but I did. Peeta comes towards me and says "Yes you can-"

"No, I can't. I'm not like you-"

"Shhh", he says as he comes closer to me. "Take the frosting", he says and I do as he says.

He puts his hand on my hand and starts moving it through the cake, he's very close to me, I can feel his breath tickling my neck. Now I can do it, Peeta is guiding my hand with his, but I feel I can do it. With him, I can. We are quiet, Peeta behind me, a hand holding mine, and the other, resting delicatly on my waist.

"See? You're doing it", he whispers into my ear. And I feel butterflies. After a while, we have the cake frosted and I get a feeling of triumph. I leave the frosting on the table but Peeta's hand doesn't leave my hand nor my waist. "Why did you do what you did last night?" he says, and now I know he's talking about the kiss. I don't answer. "Was it true? What you said?" he asks quietly. Despite my nightmare and myself, it was true, and I still feel it, in my heart. I look up at him and meet his eyes. "Yes", I whisper. Peeta's face comes closer to mine and his lips brush mine, his lips are so warm and his touch makes me shiver. I close my eyes. Now I turn and face him completely. Peeta releases my hand and brushes my cheek with his fingertips as I move my hand through his blonde hair. I come closer and our bodies are closer, eventually, not an inch away from each other. I open my mouth, the kiss is slow and long, and I can feel my heart ponding inside my chest. What makes us break apart is the sound of the oven indicating that the second cake is now ready. Peeta is still holding my face, I look up at him and smile. "I lo-" Peeta says but is interrupted by Jonas who is standing on the doorway.

"Hey-" he begins but stops himself realizing that he just got in the middle of something. "Sorry did I interrupted something?" he says.

Peeta lets go of me and faces Jonas. I blush. And I can tell Peeta does too. "Hmm, no Jonas, it's okay, thank you. I'll be there in a minute". says Peeta.

He is standing in front of me now, our hands held but Jonas ruined the moment. Idiot. "Go". I say with a little smile. Peeta nods, an innocent smile on his face, then releases me, and gets out of the room.

I bite my lip and feel the hunger, which I fainlty remember, the one I've only felt twice, now and on the beach during the Quarter Quell. I smile at the floor and embrace the hunger.


	4. Chapters 9-10

**CHAPTER 9**

1 month later

I'm waking up, my eyes closed, though I can feel Peeta staring at me.

"Good morning", I say still with my eyes closed but smiling.

"Hey", Peeta says. "You look so beautiful when you're asleep.".

Peeta keeps making comments like that, he says I'm beautiful, I wonder if someday, I will believe him.

"I'm not asleep", I say numbly.

"You are beautiful asleep or not", he says.

I open my eyes and look at Peeta, our faces are just inches apart. I giggle, then I lean in and plant a kiss on his mouth. He grabs my face with one hand and my waist with the other pulling me closer to him as the kiss grows bigger.

I pull away first to catch my breath.

"I'm going to take a shower", I say.

"Okay", says Peeta. I get up and close the window, it's very cold, I shiver. Then I walk to the bathroom, and before I close the door, I see Peeta shirtless, changing into a black shirt. I smile at him though he is not aware of it.

I take my clothes off and take a long, hot shower.

When I'm done, I step out of the bathtub and put a shirt and pants on. I brush and then braid my hair, even though is damped wet.

When I get out of the room, the air smells delicious and Peeta's not here. I go downstairs and see that the table is set and that Peeta has made breakfast. Typical from Peeta. But I've noticed he only does that when he is in a really good mood, like if everything was perfect. He made pancakes with whipped cream on the top. He knows they're my favorite.

"Did you do this?", I ask with a tone of surprise. Stupid question, who else could have done this.

"Yup", he says as he comes closer and gives me a sweet kiss. We walk to the table and he opens the chair for me. "Thanks", I say. He smiles and goes back to the kitchen. When he returns, he is holding a pitcher. He takes my cup and pours a brown, hot liquid into it. "What is this Peeta?", I ask.

"Try it", he says as he pours some into his cup. I take a sip, it's very hot. At the beginning, I don't recognize it, but I take a second sip and realize it's hot chocolate. Just like the Capitol's. It's delicious. "Hot chocolate!", I say. "I love it!". Peeta smiles. As I take another sip, I remeber that cold night on the train when Peeta and I watched the tapes of the last Hunger Games and then ordered some hot chocolate. I was sure I was not going to survive, because Peeta had to live, and Peeta was the only one who I wanted to spend my last days with. So I allowed myself sleeping with him on the train and being held in his strong arms, as I allowed him kiss my neck that night, and I enjoyed it. The rest of the breakfast we share just a few words, I'm too distracted... by him. I find my gaze going back to him over and over again, I try to resist the urge to get up from my seat and kiss him.

"Why are you staring at me?", asks Peeta grinning.

"I don't know", I say laughing. Peeta takes another bite of his pancake and a little of cream stays in his lips, adorable.

"Peeta you have something-", I say pointing at his lip where the cream is. Peeta takes a handkerchief and before he can take it to his mouth I get up and say, "Let me", I walk to him and kiss him, washing the cream, I catch him by surprise but in a moment he's kissing me back. Then I go down his face, and finally end at his neck, I kiss it.

I don't know what I'm thinking so I stop. "It's cold, I'm going upstairs for a sweater", I say as I turn around and climb the stairs. I look back at Peeta, he is still sitting there with a perplexed smile. When I'm on the second floor, I walk to the drawing room and pull out a black sweater. I put it on and when I turn around I see Peeta behind me, how did he get here so fast and silent? I don't get to ask the question because he's already kissing me and I'm kissing him back. The kiss grows bigger and more passionate, he takes of my sweater and then pushes me towards the wall. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist and he kisses my neck. I don't know what he's thinking. But I'm still afraid of getting too intimate with Peeta. "I think we should go downstairs to finish breakfast", I say.

Peeta puts me down and says, "Sure." in what I think was an almost dissappointed tone. The day was a little awkward after that, but we had no nightmares.

**CHAPTER 10**

I wake up and check the hour, it's around ten am. I think Peeta is beginning to wake too. I hear a noise. It only takes me a few seconds to realize the noise is the phone ringing. Every house on the Victor's Village has a phone, but in this house it's not very often it's use. I get up from bed to answer before it wakes Peeta but I think it's too late. I answer on the third ring.

"Hello?" I say.

"HELLO!", the woman squeaks. I recognize her immediately, it's Effie Trinket. Who else could have called at ten am? Only her ho follows a perfect agenda.

"Effie," I say. We have exchanged a few laters and a couple of phone calls maybe, though it's not a big deal, she just tells me about the parties of the Capitol and how we should go and visit and blah blah blah. "How are you?" I say.

"Great! How are you Katniss? How's Peeta?".

"We're good, thanks Effie.". Then there's a pause. I don't know if I sounded rude but I ask, "Why are you calling, Effie?".

She hesitates, "Look Katniss, I should have told you before but I'm on my way to District 12. You see, Ceasar Flickerman want an interview with the District 12 Victors and I said yes because if I told you before you would have said no and-"

I interrupt her. "An interview? Today?", I ask incredulous. I turn and look at Peeta (who is awake but with a sleepy face) helplessly, he just gives me a confused look. I hate interviews, and I have nothing to do with the people of the Capitol, and they have nothing to do with our lives.

Before Effie can say anything else, I say "Sorry Effie, we won't do it.".

"But-", she begins but I hang the phone.

I go back to bed. and make an exasperates sound and put the pillow above my face.

"Someone's moody", says Peeta. I don't answer. "Who was it?". he asks.

I take a minute, and then I remove the pillow from my face and look at Peeta.

"It was Effie.".

"Really? What does she wanted?".

"She said Ceasar Flickerman wanted to make us an interview-"

"And you said no and hung the phone.", he says not as a question, but matter-of-factly. I stay quiet. He knows me too well.

I start to object and sit down but Peeta cuts me. "Shh. Katniss, listen to me," he says softly. "Effie is just doing her work, and you were rude. I think we should apologize and change our minds. If Effie is coming here, it means we don't have to go to the Capitol, maybe it will be an interview like the one of the Victory Tour. Here, on 12.", he pauses. I know I was rude with Effie, and Peeta is right, she's just doing her work. And I was mean to her.

"It's not big deal. We can try.", he says reaching for my face softly so I can look at him.

"We can try...", I say quietly, still not looking at him.

He pulls me closer and gives me a kiss in the forehead. "Okay, I will call her, I'll apologize and tell her we've changed our minds.", then we walks towards the phone and before dialing he says, "I'm going to be with you the whole time, I'm going nowhere. I won't let you out of sight nor let go of your hand", he pauses a little, "It's going to be okay".

/ Leaving a nice comment won't take you long If you are liking this story, you might want to recommend it with your Everlark shipper friends! Thank you 3


	5. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

Peeta is talking on the phone with Effie, I hear him apologize for my behavior and he says we've changed our minds and that we are going to do it. I'm still sitting on the bed. All I can think is I can't do it. I'm not able to. I can't. I remember the interviews before the Games. Cinna was with me there, that's the only reason I could do it, I felt I was talking to him, not to the poeple of the Capitol who have nothing to do with us. Cinna. I feel a pang of pain in my stomach when I think of him. It's my fault, it's all my fault that he's not here, I killed him.

He told me before my first interview, to be myself and talk as if I were talking to him. Be yourself, he said... Well, look how that turned in the end. All of a sudden all the bad memories emerge. I begin to shake, I rock myself back and forth. Peeta is walking to me, I didn't realize he hung the phone. He looks at me confused, sadly. "Hey", he says as he reaches for me and holds me in his arms. "What's wrong?". I feel the tears coming. "I won't-", "I can't-", "I can't do this", I say through sobs. For the first time I think Peeta doesn't know what to say because he just looks helplessly at me as he caresses my hair. After a moment, he brings himself to speak. "Look, Katniss,", he begins sofly. "I know this is hard... I don't want to do this either... I know this brings back the buried memories, the Games... everything... But we can't be scared forever... I don't want to live in fear", he slutters a little, "It's just a small interview. I don't think it will last more than 5 minutues, we will be talking to a camera..." then stops to think as he puts his thoughts into words. "What I'm trying to say, is that we can't be scared forever, and I know, this won't take our fears or the nightmares away... but it's a start. And I really think we should do this. With each other we will do it, we can.". As I'm leastining to his words, the memories begin to go away, slowly, but they do. Sometimes it's annoying, though in a good way, how he is always right. And maybe with him, I can. Just like I could frost the cake, with him. I don't give an answer to what he just said, instead, I just embrace him with all my strength like if I could loose him right here and right now. The only thing I bring myself to say is "Stay with me?".

"Always.".

I'm calmed now and my tears have dried up. I have survived so many things and I will survive this interview, I'm willing to.

"Should we dress up or something?", I ask Peeta.

"No, Effie said Flavius and Octavia would come and take care of us, they should be here in an hour or so. But she asked us to tell Haymitch, Ceasar wants him in the interview too.".

"Okay. Why don't we have breakfast with Haymitch? I can tell him about the interview while you make breakfast?", I say.

"Sure", he says. "Well, let's get going".

We finally get up from bed, I wash my face and put pants on. Then I leave and walk to Haymitch's house. Peeta said he would grab some things from the kitchen and then he would catch me up. Haymitch's house is just a few steps away from Peeta's. I climp up the steps to the front door and knock. Nothing. I knock again and shout "Haymitch!", I know he usually leaves the door open but I knock first anyways. But usually there's no answer so I open the door. The smell hits me and hold my breath. Haymitch is asleep on the table, I look at him, in his hand, he has a knife. He still sleeps with a knife. I shake him up, "Haymitch", nothing. I can't hold my breath much more so before waking him up, I open the windows and breathe fresh air. I look at him, he's still sleeping. I take a bucket of water.

"I would not do that if I were you", says Haymitch numbly, still in his same position.

"I will if you don't get up", I say. Haymitch makes an exasperated noise, then he begins to get up. But I throw him the bucket with water anyway. "That is because of the smell", I say. Haymitch roars and throws himself at me.

Haymitch is about to attack me just as Peeta comes in.

"Hey", he says closing the door. Then he looks at Haymitch and I, "What's going on?", asks Peeta incredulous. "And why are you wet?".

"You can thank that to her", he says as he points at me. "We're not done yet sweetheart".

Then he sits again, looking at Peeta and I. "What are you two doing here?".

I said I would explain to Haymitch but I just sit across from him as Peeta makes breakfast and explains about the interview thing. When he is done, there's a long silence. I look down at my plate, I'm not hungry.

"So... Will you do it?", asks Peeta.

"Do I have choice?" says Haymitch. I snort.

"I'll take that as a yes.", says Peeta. The rest of the breakfast is silent, when we are done, I help Peeta wash the dishes and clean up. Then, we go back home. I wave goodbye to Haymitch.

When we get home, Peeta and I just sit on the couch, waiting. The minutes pass and I lay on Peeta's lap, he moves his hand through my tangled hair. We stay there for a while. Finally, the door bell rings. They're here, it's time.

/Leaving a nice comment won't take you very long If you're enjoying this story, share it with your friends, I would love to have more readers! /


	6. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

It's kind of amzing they knocked, during the Victory Tour they just burst into the house. When the door bel, rings, for a second, Peeta and I just stare, like if we were afraid... well, actually, we are. Maybe we stayed there more than a second because without warning, they burst into the house.

"Katniss! Peeta!", bursts Effie who is the first one to come in, Flavius and Octavia just behind. I spot some men outside the house, I assume they are the camera crew because of the lights and machines they are preparing. Peeta and I just stare in astonishment witha weirds smile, despite her Capitol accent, Effie looks so different, she is still wearing an extravagant dress and more make up than I would like to admit, though less, now I can see the color of her skin, kind of a light olive. She's not wearing a wig either, I realize I never stop to wonder how her real hair would look like. It's blonde actually. She looks prettier, more... human. Still, Flavius and Octavian are looking almost the same, less, little less exageraged maybe.

Effie is now in front of us and she hugs us both, we hug her back. "How good to see you!", she squeaks.

"Good to see you too, Effie", says Peeta. Charming as always. When she pulls away, I smile. She looks at us and takes her time, I don't know if she's thinking about us and how we've changed after all or something like that, or if she is looking at us because we have little time and much to fix. I don't know, maybe both. "Well well", she finally says. "Let's get started". I'm holding Peeta's hand but his stylist is taking him away and then I'm not holding his hand anymore. I look at him, but he says, "It's okay", and gives a little smile. Flavius and Octavia come and greet me. "Looking great looking great", says Flavius staring at me from top to bottom. "Oh who am I kidding? We have serious work to do!", Octavia just nods sadly. They are right, I've not taken much care of how I look, but I'm okay with that.

They launch into action. Flavius begins with my nails and Octavia takes care of my hair. This part doesn't actually bothers me because Flavius and Octavia just talk and talk and talk about gossips of the Capitol, parties and things in which I have no interest. So I just act like I care, nod and say things like "Oh really?", or "Oh my God!", not a difficult task. When Octavia is done, she begins with my make up. They don't take long, when they're finished, they still don't let me look at myself in the mirror, the say I have to be dressed. Flavius says he'll be back in a minute, we will get my clothes. I'm left alone with Octavia.

"Oh, Katniss. You look so beautiful. I've missed you.", says Octavia.

I smile at her. "I've missed you too", I say. And as surprising as it sounds, it's true. I didn't think I would miss them, but how could you not? Flavius enters with the clothes and hands them to me. I read the tag inside. Cinna's Couture. For Katniss Everdeen. Octavia told me Cinna made a collection of clothes just for me, she said they were in the Capitol but they were all mine and I could go for them whenever I want. I don't know if I ever will. I change into the clothes. It's a flat gray dress with long sleves, the fabric is silky, I caress it with my hand. I thought it was flat but at the bottom, where it finishes, it has some mockingjays flying, it's beautiful. There's a sweater too, it's kind of transparent-white, and very warm. When I'm done, they finally let me see myself in the mirror, I'm about to turn arounf to face the mirror when, "Oh! The shoes!", says F,avius as he reaches for the shoes. I step into them. They are heels but low, just a very few inches, they suit with the outfit perfectly. I turn to the mirror, I see myself and I look... good. The outfit is lovely and simple, just as my make up and hair, I'm wearing my hair loose but it's straight, I don't know how. I'm just wearing a little make up, some powder, blush, a little mascara and a soft pink lipstick. "You look beautiful dear.", says Flavius. I turn and look at them. "Thank you", I say and smile.

I can already hear Effie shouting about we only have 5 minutes left and then comes to the door and hurry us up. Flavius and Octavia go and Effie is about to walk away but I stop her. "Effie, wait", I say. She looks at me. "I'm sorry for what I did earlier, I shouldn't have snapped at you and hang the phone. I'm sorry Effie.".

"It's alright Katniss", she says soflty. "I'm sorry too. I should have tell you before. I promise I'll tell you the next time", she smiles and walks away, she gestures for me to hurry. Next time? There will be a next time?-

The thought goes away as I see Peeta coming. He's wearing not a suit but pants and a coat, his hair is not messy anymore (I didn't mind it though), instead, he is wearing his hair like he did before the Quell. He looks dazzling. I can say he almost took my breath away.

"Hey", he says looking at me. "You look beautiful".

"Thank you", I say smiling. "You look very good too", I say with a flirty tone. Peeta reaches for me and leans to give me a kiss but we're interrupted. "ONE MINUTE!", shouts Effie. "You two, positions!", she says more calmly now.

Peeta and I step out the door. I grab his hand, and squeeze it, he returns the squeeze, I won't let go of him. Effie begins a countdown. "Five, four, three, two, one... go!".

"Ready?", says Peeta.


	7. Chapters 13-14

**CHAPTER 13**

The flashlight iluminates my face, for a second, I can see nothing but light, then my eyes adjust and I see the camera, wich is pointing at us. I cling into Peeta's hands with all my strength as we go down the steps. I hear the Capitol anthem, I try to put my best smile, this time is easier, because we're not playing the star-crossed lovers of District 12, what I feel for Peeta, is real now... maybe it always was.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!", says Ceasar Flickerman. Of course we cannot see him, but we can hear him. I'm about to wave at the camera and give a girly laugh when I remember I'm not acting as the silly little girl in love. I'm not trying to convince anyone.

We are now in front of the camera.

"So tell me Peeta, how are things there in twelve?", says Ceasar. I don't know if he means how are things in the district after war or how are things between Peeta and I.

Peeta answers the first one though.

Things are great. I remember he said that when he was asked the same question during the Tour. I don't think he will answer that, not this time.

"Well, things are getting better, I think", is all he says. I can tell he is uncomfortable with this, he's not answering as the charming boy who could make everyone laugh back before the Games.

"Twelve was completely destroyed... but we're managing to fix it. It's our home, after all.", adds Peeta. The camera films the area, after filming the Victor's Village it goes back to us.

"Well, that is certainly good. It seems like things are finally getting better.", says Ceasar.

I think he hesitates a little, but then , he asks, "Katniss! How beautiful you look! I can see you two are better too.", says Ceasar. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but people here in the Capitol are desperate to know, you two have a long story, but right now, do you have something?".

His question catches me by surprise, Peeta and I didn't talk about what we would say if we got this kind of questions. Maybe we should have expected this if we were going to hold hands. I look at him, I think he doesn't know what to say either. A wave of anger hits me, what Peeta and I have should be private, not for the entire country to know. I feel trapped, I have no idea of what to answer. I think of Cinna. What would I say if I were talking to him? I imagine Cinna in front of me, not the camera. I would tell him the truth.

"Maybe we do,Ceasar". For a second I look at Peeta, as if we were alone, he is smiling brightly at me, maybe he is not aware of it but I will enojoy that smile.

"Hmmm, very mysterious our girl on fire!", exclaims Ceasar.

"Well, our time here, is over.", he says. "Let me say it for the last time. Ladies and gentlemen, the Star-crossed lovers from District 12!".

And I let him. Star-crossed lovers. I let myself hear it and embrace the last time, we will be called that.

Then the anthem goes off, when it's over, the camera turns off and I hear someone from the camera crew shout "Cut!".

"Wonderful!", exclaims Effie. We ignore her, Peeta and I are still standing here, our hands held.

I didn't realize I was catching my breath but I let it out.

"So, what you said was true?", asks Peeta shyly.

"What?", I ask looking at him.

"May I call you my girlfriend?", asks Peeta smiling at me.

I release his hand, and throw my hands around his neck. I smile at him, and then I kiss him, he kisses me back. The kiss is not very long and when I pull away, I say, "Did that answer your question?". And then, he is the one who kisses me.

**CHAPTER 14**

The light of the sun is what wakes me up. Peeta is still asleep. Quietly, I sit down on the bed and look at the window, it seems like a sunny day. I can't believe it has already passed a week since the interview, the day of the interview, was cold, but today, it seems like real spring. I can't help myself, so I quietly get up from bed trying not to wake Peeta. I walk to the window and then, I get my head out. I breathe in the fresh air, I can say is almost... hot. I look up at the sky, the few clouds I see are pure white and foamy. The sun is bright yellow and at first I can't believe it, but I hear mockingjays singing. I lean in the window and enjoy the view, I get lost in it.

"Beautiful", Peeta whispers. I jump, I didn't realize he had waken up, when I look at him I think he has been awake for a while now.

"I know, it's beautiful", I say looking outside the window.

"Yeah", says Peeta. "But I meant you. You're beauiful.", he says. I thought he was talking about the day, and still, I don't know what to answer when he calls me that.

"The day is beautiful, I'm not", I say almost casually. I couldn't think of a better think to say.

Peeta gets up and stands in front of me. He touches my face lightly and whispers matter-of-factly "Beautiful", and then he kisses me. I kiss him back. I say between kisses "Good morning", and then he says "Good morning", smiling.

He pushes away suddenly, abruptly. And looks outside the window. "I have an idea", he says.

"What?", I say.

"I'll tell you when we are there." he says. "Wear something pretty and meet me at the door in an hour".

"What? Peeta what do you have in mind?", I ask but he just let go of my hand and he's walking away. "Where are you going?", I ask although he is already on the stairs.

"To the bakery!", then I hear rhe door closing.

Nonsense. Peeta has probably go nuts. Why should he go to the bakery and I, wear something pretty? Besides, I have nothing pretty. I stay standing there for a while, confused. But finally decide that there is no reason not to do it so I take a quick shower and then open my wardrobe. A few pairs of shoes, some shirts and pants and what I wore for the interview. Nothing pretty I think. I have some of Cinna's clothes in my house but I have no intentions of entering there just for a stupid dress. I despair myself and end up wearing the dress I wore for the interview though without the coat, but I wear the heels, I don't know why but I'm going to regret it. I braid my hair quickly and then I'm done. Peeta should be here anytime. I go downstairs and sit on the couch waiting for Peeta. But it's a beautiful day, and I shall not waste it. I get up from the couch and walk to the door, I open it and sit down on the porch's steps, and wait for Peeta. The minutes pass and then, I see him, he is carrying a basket with I don't know what.

"Hey", says Peeta stretching out his hand. I take it as he pulls me up, "Hey", I say. We begin to walk, I don't know where he is taking me.

"Can you tell me what's foing on and where are we going Peeta?", I ask.

"You'll know when we get there", is all he says.


	8. Chapters 15-17

**CHAPTER 15**

Peeta and I are walking away from the Victor's Village, and I don't know where he is taking me, it could be anywhere, but I'm not the kind of person who likes surprises much.

"Seriously Peeta, where are we going?", I say.

"You know when we get there", he says kissing my cheek and then he turns me around like if we were dancing. I realize we've never danced together.

Finally, I give up and I stop asking and I just smile at Peeta misteriously. We left the Village for a while now and I think we are going to the meadow. I have no idea why Peeta would like to go to the Meadow but as I said, I won't ask anymore.

The rest of the trayect, is almost quiet, I was right, we are going to the meadow and as we are walking through it, we make a few comments about how beautiful is the sky or the leaves of the trees. I heard right this morining, there are mockingjays singing all over the place. It's weird walking here with Peeta, it is something I used to do with Gale... the thought makes me uncomfortable so I push it away immediately. Peeta stops suddenly and says, "Here". I've never been to this part of the meadow, but I like it, it's like a place away from the trees, though if I look back, I can see them, they look beautiful. The grass is surprisingly green, and there are some dandelions, it's breath-taking. Peeta releases my hand and starts getting some things out of the basket. As he is getting the things out, I realize we are having a picnic. He pulls out a tablecloth, and food. He arranges all neatly and then he sits there and gestures for me to join him, I do.

He hands me some orange juice and a sandwich, and we eat.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?", Peeta says.

"Yeah, it is", I say. "You couldn't have thought of a better way to use it".

We finish our sandwiches but I'm still hungry. I look in the basket, I think Peeta has brought other things but I don't pay attention to them because I find a bag of chips.

I get them out and show them to Peeta. "You brought this and didn't tell me about it?", I say shockingly (but jocking, obviously) "How dare you? You wanted them all for yourself!".

I sit down and open them, I take one and take it to my mouth, away from Peeta. And then, another and another.

"Hey Katniss, don't be so selfish! Give me one!", he says.

I stand up, and hold the chips to my chest. "Never!", I shout. Peeta gets up too and starts walking to me. We stand in front of each other, our faces, full of suspense.

Then abruptly, I sprint away. Peeta quickly, starts coming for me. I begin running, but the grass is too high and I'm wearing heels. Soon, Peeta is just on my heels and he throws himself at me and puhes me to the ground. I twist but Peeta takes the ships away from me.

"No!", I shout.

Peeta laughs evily, "They are mine now", he says and takes one. I stare in horror as I watch him eating the chips. Then, I remember some of the training before the Games. I make a quick move, kicking his half and now, I'm the one who is above him, but the chips flied out of his hands, I look at them, they are just a bit away from us, many chips, fell out of the bag. Then I look back at Peeta, our faces are so close, I can feel his breathing, he's breathing heavily, I know I am too. After a while of looking at each other, I lean in, and touch my lips to his. The kiss is slow, and long, it makes me feel like I've never felt before, I run my hand through his blond hair and he has his hands above my waist. I push away to catch my breath and he does too. I get tired of leaning in one hand above Peeta so I laynnext to Peeta, we watch the clouds for a while, silently. Then he looks at me and touches my face lightly, with the back of his fingers. He looks at me for a long time, and then his expression changes.

He pulls himself up and I'm about to do the same but he says, "No. Stay there, I'll be back in a sec", then he walks away. I sit down and look around, I see a dandelion. I crawl to where it is and it's just not one, there are many, I lay and lean in my elbows and watch the dandelions. If there was more wind, it would blow them away, so before that happens, I watch them. Peeta is back in a matter of minutes, but I'm too focused on the dandelions so I don't look at him, but I feel his gaze on me. I turn a little and see that he's pulling some things out from the basket, a canvas I think, then he pulls out brushes and paintings.

"What are you doing?", I ask.

"Such beauty like yours shouldn't be wasted.", he says. "I'm going to paint you.".

**CHAPTER 16**

"Paint me?", I ask bewildered but smiling at him.

"Yeah. Plase let me", he says pleadingly.

"I don't understand why you want to paint me. Why don't you paint the trees or something? Don't waste such beauty on me", I say. I mean it, we don't see often days like this, and Peeta could paint the sky or the flowers but why me?

"I was planning on painting the view or something, and then I saw you there looking at the dandelions and I realized how stupid I am. The whole day is beautiful, the trees, the sky, the flowers and the birds, but you, you are the most beautiful.", he says shyly. Ehat he just said took my breath away, I smile at him but I don't belive what he says.

And if Peeta wants to waste the day on me, is his decision."Okay", I say finally.

A bright smile flashes on his face. He arranges all his paintings and brushes and he places the canvas on his lap. "You just look at the dandelions, and I'll do the rest", he says soflty.

I look at him for a second and then, I do what he told me. I look at the dandelions, it's harder now knowing that Peeta is painting the moment but I try to do it as casually as I can. Peeta launches into action. The minutes pass and I can see how his expression changes when he is focused, I see that expression only when he paints or frosts cakes. I turn around just a little.

"Don't move", he says.

"Why so moody?", I ask jockingly and smiling.

"I can't do this if you move", he tries to say it strictly but I see a flash of a smile on his face. I smile at him, then he looks at me helplessly but smiling.

"Okay, okay, I won't move anymore.", I turn around and look at the dandelions again.

How long have we been here? I don't know but I guess like 3 hours or so. The sky is getting more cloudy, and the wind begins to howl. The dandelions are moved by it, but they are still not blown away. I hope Peeta's almost finished because there will be no more dandelions in a while. The minutes pass and a cloud covers the sun, there's less light now.

"Done", Peeta says quietly. He's clothes are all stained with paint and his face and even his hair, a little too. But his hands are all covered with colors. I turn around and look at him, I stretch a little.

"Can I see it?", I ask.

"Sure.", he says. I'm to lazy to walk so I crawl to where he is and I sink on my knees beside him. I look at the painting, for a second, the girl I see there looks unfamiliar to me, she looks gracefully beautiful. At first, I can't belive it's me, I don't look like her, but to be someone else would be ridiculous because I was the one who Peeta painted. I belive it's dried now, I reach for the painting and just move my fingertips delicately through it, the painting is so realistic I can feel I can touch it, the soft yellow dandelions, the bright-green grass, the blue sky with the shiny sun and foamy clouds, and then, there's me, I'm looking at the dandelions brightly, like if they were s treasure, my braid being slightly blown my the wind, my face resting in one of my hands, while the other is caressing the grass, my expression is not stern and serious, a little smile is painted on my face, my eyes look like a combination of green and grey, I can't explain it but it is full of life. It's breath-taking, I got lost in it.

With a smile, I gasp, and I feel a tear running down my cheek.

Peeta turns around and looks at me.

"Babe, why are you crying? You don't like it?", Oeeta says soflty.

I gasp again and another tear escapes my eye. "Oh Peeta, how could I not like it? This is themost beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm crying becaudse I'm happy.", I say shakily but smiling.

Peeta lets the painting resting on the grass and washes my tears with his thumb, I hold his hand to my face.

I give a little laugh.

"Thank you, Peeta", I say.

"For what?", he says.

"For seeing on me what no one else can, not even myself.", I say. "I love you.".

**CHAPTER 17**

My braid is so messy, after several times of trying to brush my hair, I end up giving up and I loosen it. The sky is getting more cloudy, and it's getting cold too, I wish I had brought a sweater with me.

"We should probably go", says Peeta.

"Sure", I say with my arms around myself.

"Are you cold?", asks Peeta looking at me.

"Just a little", I respond. Peeta takes off the jacket he was wearing, I don't know why he's been using it, it was hot a while ago. The jacket is full of paint but I accept it anyway.

"Thank you", I say. He smiles shyly and begins picking up the things we brought, I help him. Amazingly, the painting fits in the basket, all we brought, fits. Peeta covers the basket with the tablecloth because it's beginning to rain, it's just a little rain, but it could get worse.

Peeta holds his hand out and I take it. We start to walk, the house is not far, we'll be there in fifteen minutes or so. As we are walking through the meadow, I hear no more mockingjays singing, instead, I hear thunders. The rain becomes more heavy with each minute that passes, and soon it's pouring rain.

Peeta and I laugh and we begin running, our hands held. Quickly, we are already damped. I try to run faster but I remeber Peeta is not as fast as me, mainly beacuse of his leg, so I try to slow down a little but we're still running. When we were on our way here, the path was full of dried earth, now it has become mud. As we are running, I accidentally step on a puddle full of mud splashing us all with it. I almost fall, but Peeta catches me by the waist, we look at each other for a while, raindrops run down Peeta's face, we are both damped wet. He leans and kisses me. I open my mouth, Peeta tatses sweet, but I can taste rain too.

He pulls away first, we get out of the puddle, and I take a step, I look at my feet and realize I've lost a shoe. I look back at the puddle, my shoe is nowhere to be seen.

"Shit", I say, before I can stop myself.

"What?", says Peeta.

As a response, I hold up my foot to Peeta and grunt.

Peeta snorts and then, he bursts out laughing. "How did that happen?" he says between laughs. When he looks at me, with my arms crossed, he tries to stop, but he laughs again, he can't stop.

I look at him and smile, it's ridiculous and funny at the same time, before I can stop myself, I end up laughing too. We're laughing so hard, I doubt we'll ever stop, my stomach begins to ache of so much laughing. We look at each other and when I think we are dinally going to stop, we burst out laughing again.

After an eternity of laughing, we finally are able to stop. I catch my breath.

"Well, let's go", I say.

"Wait!", Peeta says. "You can't walk like that! You'll get hurt!".

"It's okay, I can", I say though I'm not sure if I really can.

"No you can't, I won't let you.".

"Okay then, we can pass the night here in the rain.".

"Bad idea", he says. "Got a better one. I'll take you, climb on my back".

"No Peeta, you won't take me.", I say.

"Come on, Katniss. I carry pounds of flour everyday, of course I will take you.".

I look at him thoughtfully, he's right, he's very strong and I've seen him carry sacks of flour before. I hesitate but then I agree to it.

"All right.", I say. I walk to Peeta. This is so stupid, I'm laughing. I place my hands on his shoulders and then, I jump opening my legs and rapping them around him. Peeta grabs my legs so I won't fall. We are already damped, I can feel drops of rain going down my back, they're falling from my hair.

Peeta begins walking, and although we are completely wet, he begins trotting.

I take off Peeta's jacket and I raise my arms up, stretching the jacket so it can protect us from the rain, it's pointless I know, we couldn't be any more wer than we are now. As I raise my hands up, I raise my face too, and look at the teardrops falling, I close my eyes and smile, I feel free.

"Whooo!", I let myself scream. If anyone saw us, they would say we're crazy. My arms get tired so I let them, down amd rap them around Peeta's chest. I kiss his cheek, several times, and begin going down his face and his throat.

When I look up, I see we're already on the Village, we pass the empty houses and then, we finally get to Peeta's house. Still being carried by Peeta, I reach for the doorknob and open. We enter and I close it with my shoeless foot. Peeta drops the basket on the ground, and we collapse on the couch, I'm above him.

Immediately, as if by instinct, I kiss him and he kisses me back, as the kiss grows bigger, it also becomes more passionate. I run my hands through Peeta's hair, and I go down his face, his neck and then, I slip my hands into his shirt and feel his stomach. Peeta's hands go down my back too, and they rest on my waist. The kiss reaches a point, where it becomes desperate. I can't stop. I pull Peeta's shirt over his arms and drop it to the ground. I'm breathing heavily, Peeta is too. As we kiss, Peeta's breath becomes heavier than mine, he suddenly pulls away, he's gasping and he looks away.

"Katniss, go.", he says. One hand, he has it on a fist, but the other is holding my wrist, his grip very strong.

"What?-", I say.

Peeta is still looking away, I try to find his face but he's not letting me. He's driving his nails into my skin, I know it's unintentional but it's painful, I feel blood going gown my hand.

"Peeta you're hurting me-", I say trying to pull away.

"I said, go. Please.", he says gasping. His voice was stern and more serious this time. He releases me.

I begin to pull away, "Peeta-", I say.

Now, Peeta looks at me, his face has changed horribly, I look at his eyes, all their blue, has gone away, replaced by a horrible dark black, I see no pupil on his eyes and his hands are on fists.

"Go away!", he screams.

I jump, I've never seen him like this before, not since we were in District 13 and I saw him for the first time. He tries to fight it, I can see it, how he's holding his face with his fists, and he's gasping violently. After a while of that, slowly, he looks up at me. "Mutt", he hisses. I know he just loosed it.

He gets up and starts coming for me but I'm already on the door, I open it and get out. I close the door and I hear Peeta slamming into the door.

/Reviews and feedbacks are deeply appreciated Sorry for not posting in so long, I promise I'll post more chapters soon. Please, if you are enjoying my story, you can recommend it to your friends and I will deeply appreciate it. Thank you! /


	9. Chapters 18-20

CHAPTER 18

The Mockingjay

My head is full of thoughts, Peeta, what Haymitch just said, everything, but I can't concentrate, so I grab my bow and arrows and go haunting. I cross the fence and keep walking.

I catch a hint of yellow, I turn around and see they are flowers, I walk to them and sink on my knees, I gasp.

At first, I couldn't believe it, but now as I take one, I'm sure. They are primroses, the flower who gave name to my sister, Prim. With all this cold weather I thought it would be a long time before I could see one, but here they are, red, blue, purple, yellow... I gather some of them, I feel a pang of pain,

Prim.

I stare at the flowers for a long time, remembering her. I feel the tears coming, but then I remember how glad Prim would get when we found one. This flowers are not supposed to bring bad memories, it's hard but actually, I see Prim when I look at this colorful flowers, I see her smile. Suddenly, I feel her whole presence here, like if she never left, though I know she's not here... but I feel her. I think of her, when we found primroses, Prim would always take a few home and decorate the house with them, she would braid my hair pinning some flowers on it, she would also put them on a pot next to my parent's bed, I smile.

Carefully, I take many of them and put them in my bag. When I'm done, I keep walking, but I leave my bow and arrows hidden behind a tree, I changed my plans, I won't go haunting, instead, I'm walking to the spot where my dad and sister are buried. In minutes, I'm there, standing in front of two tombstones. I sink on my knees in front of the first, which is my father's.

I run my hand through the stone, "Hey, Daddy", I say quietly.

Then, I run my hand through the other, "Hey little duck", I say with a small smile. I look at them for a while, I sit down.

"I miss you so much... both of you, I miss you every single day, every morning, I think of you... I think of how hard is for me to live each day, of how much I wish I could be with you, where ever you are but... I just wanted you to know that I'm alive, without you, it's hard... very hard. But I'm with Peeta... he takes care of me, we protect each other but...", I can't fight the tears anymore, I begin crying.

"I wish you were here, I need you...", I cry. "I am so sorry. It's all my fault, Prim, I did this", I weep desperately.

I try to recover myself a little. "But you would like me to go on... and I will...", I say. "I love you.". I say as I press a kiss to my fingertips and then press it on each tombstone. "I really, really love you", I say.

The rest of the evening, I stay with my dad and Prim, I decorate Prim's grave with the Primroses I pick up earlier, I try to do it very carefully, and with all my heart. I talk to them about what has happened, that I'm better now, and that I'm with Peeta. At first, talking to them was painful, but now, it's relieving.

When I'm done with the flowers, I look up at Prim's grave, the wind blows, but the flowers stay where they are, I feel Prim's presence, like if she were standing right next to me, I feel her smile, and my daddy's too, I smile, and one last time, I say, "I love you", this time, I didn't say it while I was crying, instead, a smile was on my face as I said it.

The sun is setting, I stand up, and begin walking back home. The leaves of the trees are full with a bright-color-green, they are full of life, green, my favorite color. Some of the leaves are still wet from yesterday's rain, but watching the rain drops going down the leaves is fascinating.

Maybe I shouldn't be, it's weird but I feel almost... relieved.

When I returned to 12 I couldn't manage a funeral for Prim, I know she deserved it, but I hate myself for not being able to bear it, but maybe some day, I will. Besides, my mother couldn't care less...deep down, I know she cares, but it's painful... she almost didn't survive my father's death, I don't know if she could bear her daughter's funeral. But I'm looking forward to some day, being able to arrange a funeral for Prim, she deserves at least that. I had only visited her once, when they made her tombstone and placed it next to my father's, but I didn't talk to her, I couldn't, so I just left flowers for them both, and went home, one of the worse days of my life. But what I did today felt like freeing a part of myself, one that was still bounded to the pain I associated with her death... I cannot change what happened but I can make it less painful each day, and enjoy her presence in the little details, like the flowers, the cakes Peeta frosts, Buttercup (who I haven's seen in a while)...

I stop myself to listen to the mockingjays, I remember the songs my dad used to sing, and how they would stay silent until he was over, and then, sing it themselves.

I whistle Rue's song, they stop to listen and then, all the mockingjays sing the little song in unizon. They repeat it two, three times, and then I sing it again. We repeat the same for a while.

The mockingjays finally seem to get tired of my song, and they begin singing their own version of it. I'm about to keep walking when I see something on the ground. I come closer and sink on my knees in front of me, there's a mockingjay.

The little thing is crouched on the ground, I examine it and see a little blood on it's wing, its injured and I'm pretty sure it can't fly. I look at it, before the first Games, I would have taken it and sell it on the Hob for a little money to eat... but now, I try to think as Prim or Rue would think, I'm doing what they would do.

I reach with my hand slowly, for the bird, when he sees my hand come closer, he tries to fly, he's afraid. I think of a way to earn his trust and tell him I mean no harm. So for the first time in a long while, I sing.

"Deep in the meadow,

under the willow,

a bed of grass,

a soft green pillow,

lay down your head,

and close your eyes,

and when again they open,

the sun will rise...".

The mockingjay listens carefully, and then, he sings too. When he's done, I try again, slowly, I reach with my hand for him, I leave it just a few inches away from the place he is, after a moment, he climbs on it. I gasp and smile. I stand up and cover it with my other hand protectively. The rest of my way back home, I sing to him, he listens and then the little bird copies my song, I earned it's trust.

CHAPTER 19

Buttercup

When I get home, I place my bow and arrows next to the door, I take my jacket off. Part of me is afraid, but part of me determined too, determined to go upstairs, and enter my room. I hold my breath, last time I checked, the scent of Snow's rose was still here, I know I could have imagined it, but I won't take any risks.

The little mockingjay is still on my hand, so with my other hand, I open quickly the door to my room, then I place my hand above the mockingjay, I know nothing will hurt it here, but I still make it with the purpose of protecting it.

I step in. Everything's still the same, my bed made neatly, the drawer, and my closet. I go straight to the window and open it, I breathe in fresh air.

I open my closet, it's full of clothes, most of them, Cinna's. I take a shoe box from inside it, I grab an old pair of socks too, I place the box on the bed, and inside it, I put the socks. Then, carefully, I leave the mockingjay on the box, he (or maybe it's a she) seems to like the box, he crouches on a corner, before he get's too comfortable, with a wet cloth, I clean his wing a little, he's not bleeding anymore, I know this won't cure him, but I may take it with a vet. When I'm done, he finally allows himself some rest. I watch him for a little while and lightly, I caress it with my index finger. He will heal, he will fly again.

I walk to the drawer and open the first bin, I take out the box, the only thing inside the drawer. I sit on the bed, the box in my lap, I know exactlty what's in there, though I open it.

My father's photograph, I take it out and look at it for a moment. My family book is there too, the book that my mom and dad made, with the medical herbs and plants we can find in the woods or the meadow, with all it's uses. The book is not finished, but the last pages were made by Peeta and I. I remember before the Quell, I hurt my ankle and couldn't walk, so my mom asked me to continue the book, I don't know how to draw, so Peeta helped me with that part, I described the flower and he drew it, I open the book and see the beautiful sketches he made. I stare at them for a while and run my fingers slightly, through the drawings.

The last things in the box are my mockingjay pin, the spike from the Quarter Quell, the locket Peeta gave me and in the very corner... the pearl. The pearl Peeta gave me on the beach, I take it out. I remember those lonely nights in District 13, how I took the pearl to my lips and whispered Peeta's name... I thought I lost him... I cried every night because I missed him, he was gone.

Did I love him?

My thoughts are interrupted by a noise I think came from outside. I walk to the window and look. Peeta's there, between my house and his, he seems to be thinking. Will he come?

He walks closer to my house, he stands there for a while, and then, he walks away and enters his house. I didn't realize I was holding my breath but I let it out.

I go back to the bed, I return the things to the box, but this time, I will take them with me, this things, even if they bring back bad memories, even if it's hard to admit... they are part of me. And they shouldn't be abandoned in a box, they should be with me. I stand up, I turn around to look at the hallway, across from it, there's Prim's room. I walk tentavily through the hallway. Now, I'm standing in front of Prim's room. Slowly, I reach for the doorknob, I grab it, I'm about to open it, I take in a deep breath and then, I open it.

I step in and stay there, inside the room but not fully on it. For a moment, I feel like the war, the Quell, was all a terrible dream, something that never happened, I feel like it's a normal day... Everything in this room, is untouched, (except for a window that has been open all this time) no one has been here since the bombing of District 12. I draw in a deep breath and begin walking, I walk toward Prim's bed, it's unmade. Shakily, I run my hand through the fabric.

As I touch it, I imagine that day, the day when the Capitol, destroyed District 12. Gale said they did it without any warning, so the alarm probably didn't sound, what woke my mom and sister up were the bombs... I imagine Prim, sleeping peacefully on her bed, and then the sound of a big explosion, she must have woken up immediately, she probably froze and grabbed Buttercup, just before reacting and getting out. Or maybe, Gale bursted in and took my mom and sister to a safe place. The thought of Prim being terrified terrifies me, so I try to push it away though not successfully.

Fortunately, I'm snapped back into reality by a noise, I turn around and find that hateful cat, Buttercup.

At first, we just look at each other, he hisses at me, but then, his expression changes and I think he recognizes me because he walks towards me and purrs. I grab him and I sit on the rocking chair, the cat on my lap. How has he survived all this time? Maybe because of the open window, I guess he would be outside each day, eating I don't know what, and later, returning here with the hope to find Prim, but he never will.

"You stupid cat," I say, "Why are you here?", Buttercup looks up at me.

"You'll never fid her!" I say.

I feel the tears coming but I hold them back, I can't cry each time I think of her, I can't, she wouldn't want that for me. I rock back and forth on the chair, eventually, I calm myself a little.

"Do you miss her?", I say softly petting Buttercup.

He gives a little cry. "I miss her too..."

"But she would like us to move on you know?", I say, the cat, listening to me silently.

"She would...", I say so quietly I can almost hear it myself.

CHAPTER 20

A Perfect Day

I think I'm going to spend the night here so I have to wake Buttercup up who was resting on my lap, I stand up and look down at Buttercup. He hisses at me, fangs out.

"Oh get over it", I say to the cat.

Before I order the room, I take a last glance at it, untouched as it is, I can still feel Prim here. I hope that even if this room is cleaned, I can still feel her here.

I launch into action and make her bed, I pull the window closed and pick up all the things on the floor and place them in their corresponding places, I broom the room a little too, it doesn't take me long but when I'm done, it's almost dark outside. From my room, I grab the box with my things and also, the box with the mockingjay, he seems to be okay and recovering himself. I put him above a drawer so Buttercup can't reach him.

Tired, I go back to the rocking chair and take out the family book. I open it and run my fingers through the pages. After a while, I get to the section Peeta and I made. I look at his beautiful sketches and drawings of flowers and herbs, they look so real, almost as if I could touch them. I think of what Haymitch told me before, how Peeta never gave up on me. When we made this, Peeta knew most of what I did and said in the Games, was an act to save ourselves, he knew I didn't love him and that Gale and I had kissed. He had that and many other reasons to hate me but still, he would come here when I couldn't walk because of my ankle, he would bring me bread and he would always be nice to me, he never gave up. But I was too fool to see it.

I surprise myself, I didn't realize I was holding the pearl to my lips, after all those nights at 13, I must have done it uncounsiously.

"Peeta...", I whisper. I get up and fastly, I go down the stairs, I get out of the house, I didn't even close the door. Now, I understand what Haymitch said, he never gave up on me, he's still fighting but he thinks I will be safer if I'm away from him, but no, we need each other, I need him. And I won't give up on him. I walk, or almost run, to Peeta's house, whith the pearl still on my hands, I knock the door anxiously.

Nothing. I knock again, louder this time.

Nothing, I knock again and again and again.

"Peeta!", I say. "I know you're in there", he must be.

"Peeta we need to talk, please". I stop knocking on the door, he should come, he should open. I stay standing there, looking at the door anxiously, waiting for Peeta to open. But nothing happens.

"I need you...", I say not very loud but enough for him to hear me, I can almost feel him at the other side of the door. I remain there for a while, but he won't open.

I turn around and hopelessly, I walk away from his house.

I go back to Prim's room, when I get there, I see Buttercup jumping and trying to eat the little mockingjay.

"No!", I shout running to him. "Stay away from him, stupid cat!", I roar, launching a pillow at him and grabbing the mockingjay protectively. Buttercup just hisses at me as usual. I put the little bird inside the box again, this time, I put it on a higher drawer, and closer to me.

Before I go to sleep, I go downstairs for a little bread, I cut a little piece making it into little crumbs. I take them on my palm and give them to the mockingjay, apparently, he was hungry. In a little recipent, I give him water too. Finally, I leave a little food and water on his box and then, I go to sit on the chair. I throw a blanket over myself and keep the pearl in my hands. Exhausted, I close me eyes and drift into sleep...

I'm standing on the woods, but my bow and arrows are nowhere to be seen. The weather is warm, the sun up. My father used to say this was the perfect day. He wouldn't say a perfect day for what, but I knew he meant a perfect day for swimming. I learn to swim here, on the lake, he taught me, when I was just a little girl. I turn around to see the lake and my heart skips a beat. My father is standing there. I gasp.

"Daddy", I say soflty smiling, a tear running down myself. I freeze, I can't move, this can't be, but he's standing right in front of me.

"Hey Katniss", he says smiling at me. He's wearing his mining clothes but he's not filthy with coal. He takes a step towards me. He cleans slightly with his tumb, my tears.

"Daddy... but you died", I say, disbelief in my voice.

"But I will always live here,", he says putting his hand above my heart. "In your heart.", he says softly.

"Daddy", I say, it seems to be the only thing I can say. I embrace him in a long hug. "I miss you", I say through sobs. But my heart, beating hard.

"I missed you too, but I'm with you everyday", he says pulling away from the hug but his hands, still on my shoulders. "Never forget that", he says.

"I won't, daddy", I say, tears, still running down my face but a smile on my lips.

"Now, why don't you go and play together?", he says.

I cock my head at him. He takes a step back and gestures for me to look at the lake is there, but someone else is there too, Prim.

"Prim!", I say. As fastly as I can, I run to her. I sink on my knees in front of her and hug her, almost crushing her.

"Katniss!", she says smiling.

"Oh, little duck", I say hugging her, my face wet with tears. I run my hand through her head, I can't imagine she's actually here.

I pull away and hold her face in my shaking hands "Look at you! ", I say. "You're so beautiful, Prim", I hug her again.

"I miss you, Prim, everyday. I am so sorry", I say.

"Don't be Katniss, it's all right", she says.

"But I-", I can't bring myself to say -I killed you-.

"You didn't Katniss, it was my decision to be there, you did nothing wrong, I love you", she says.

"Oh, I love you too", I say. We hug for a while

and then, she cleans my face softly.

"It's the perfect day", she says smiling.

"It is", I say.

We go into the lake, we swim, just as the old times, my father joins us.

We stay there for a long, long, while. We swim and look in the lake for flowers, we find Primroses and Katniss', too, the flowers that gave us a name, we listen to the mockingjays sing, too.

But soon, the sun is beginning to set. We dry ourselves, after getting out of the lake.

Prim and my dad are standing in front of me.

"We must go now", says my dad looking up at the sky.

"No, please don't go. I want to stay", I say pleadingly.

"You can't Katniss, you should return. With Peeta, he needs you. And don't leave Buttercup alone, please", she says looking up at me, holding my hand.

"But I need you too", I say.

"We will always be with you Katniss", says my dad, his hand on my shoulder.

I know I should return, deep down, I know but it hurts.

"You have to be happy Katniss, please, for me", says Prim.

"I know...", I say quietly. "Why did you grow so fast?", I say to Prim hugging her again.

"I'm sorry little duck, I wish I could've saved you, gave you the life you deserved, made you happy...", I say.

"You still can," she says. "Go back and get Peeta back, make a life together, be happy", she says.

I hug her for a little while. Then, I stand up and look at them both. "Just one more thing...", I say. "Tell Finnick that I miss him, so much, and that I will go back and take care of Annie and their little son, tell him I'm sorry I couldn't save him too. Please tell Cinna I miss him too, dearly, and that I'm sorry for what I did to him too, but that I will wear what he made for me... and that I love them both...", I say.

"I'll give them the message", my dad says.

I hug them both at the same time, "I love you", I say. My dad kisses me cheek and says, "I love you too".

They pull away and begin walking away. "I'm proud of you little girl", he adds.

"Good-bye", I say. They both wave at me. I feel like I removed a death weight I had been carrying, maybe I just wanted to say how much I love them and good bye a last time.

They go, with their hands joined. I watch them. They are very far now, I can almost see their faces.

"Prim! I found a Mockingjay, you know? I'll take care of it like you would, Prim. I hope he can fly again some day.", I say to Prim.

She turns around and says, "He will", she smiles, and then suddenly, disappears.

My dad still remains. "Will I see you again?", I say loudly so he can hear me.

"You will", he says and puts his hand above his heart. Then, he disappears too.

Then, I open my eyes, I'm in Prim's room. It was all a dream... a beautiful dream.

/ I'M SO SORRY GUYS FOR THE CONFUSSION! Thanks to the person that made me realize I was skipping a chapter and had repeated one! I just corrected it and for some of you have already read this, I will post more chapters tonight! FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED❤️ /


	10. Chapters 21-23

CHAPTER 21

A Hobby

After the dream, I feel I've found the motivation I needed to keep living and wake up everyday, even if the pain is unbearable. I know it was a dream, and I don't know why I had it either. I don't know how to explain it, but my dad and Prim made me see all the reasons I still have to keep living... And I will make them happy, they deserve that and much more.

I check the clock, it's almost 2 pm, how did I sleep so much and without nightmares and without Peeta?

Peeta.

I get up and run to the window. Peeta's getting out of his house, he's probably going to the bakery as usual, he should be back in a few hours. Perfect, just in time. I grab my things, including the two boxes, one with the mockingjay. In a bag, I take some clothes too, most of them are Cinna's, I will wear them. After I gathered everything, I go down the stairs, Buttercup behind me. I open the front door and get out, I gesture for Buttercup to come with me. But he just sits down on the doorway.

"Aren't you coming?", I say.

The cat cocks his head at me. I think he's not ready to leave yet.

"Okay, then", I close the door in his face, I will never get to completely like that cat, but I promised Prim I would take care of him. I left a window open so he could get out, I will leave food for him outside the house too, and every once in a while, I'll visit him.

I cross the path between Peeta's house and mine, I climb the little steps in front of his house. Peeta usually leaves the door unlocked, I hope it's open now because if not, I will have to break in into his house and I would really like to save a broken window. I grab the doorknob, fortunately, it's open.

I step in and close the door behind me. Everything looks... the same. All in it's place, no signs of destruction, it's all fine, at least it seems so. I leave my things beside the couch. I go upstairs, Peeta's room seems okay too, the bathroom, untouched. I get out and stand in the hallway, confused. The other day, when Peeta had the flashback, he tried to hurt me, I know he did it without thinking but he seemed almost... destructive. When I came here a while ago I thought I would find everything destroyed, but it isn't.

I see something on the wall, I come closer, at first I think it's just a spot but then, I see it's actually a mark. This was done with fingernails. I run my fingers through it, they are four scratches, one for each finger. I just realized they are close to the room across Peeta's. The room that in my house used to be Prim's. In this house, this room is inhabited, at least I thought so because when I open it, it's a complete mess. I look around, there are marks and scratches on the wall and floor. There is a crater on one side of the wall. The bed is destroyed and the window broken, there are pieces of glass in the floor and also, blood. It would appear like an animal had done this, but it was no animal, it was Peeta.

.

Shakily, I walk through the room, I run my hand through the wall, feeling the finger nail scratches, terror filling me. I stop at the crater on the wall. I can't believe this was done by a fist. Peeta's fist. With my hand still on the crater, I turn around and see the broken window, on the floor, there is broken glass and blood too, the walls are smeared with it as well.

I can't see this and knowing Peeta did it. I can't bear the thought of Peeta turning into a...monster and doing all this, I can't. I can't think of him suffering. I can't.

Frantically, I run out of the room closing the door behind me, I'm breathing fast. I lay on the wall trying to catch my breath, I put my hand above my heart, I can feel my heart beating hard. How could I left Peeta alone that day? I should have stayed with him and fight the flashback with him, together. This is all my fault, I did this to him, I'm the reason this happened.

I can't break down, not now. Not now when Peeta needs me the most. I won't give up. I take in a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds, then, slowly I let it out. I repeat that several times, until finally, I calm down, and I'm breathing normally. I have to get this all out of my mind, I need to be strong, for Peeta.

I go downstairs and sit on the couch, I take the box with the mockingjay, he's okay I think, I see he's eaten all his food so I give him more bread, I caress him slightly with my fingertip and I whistle Rue's song, he listens to it carefully, and then, he repeats it. After several times of repeating that, he makes his own version of the song, I think that means he's getting better and stronger, good. As I listen to him, I take my family's book out.

Thoughtfully, I stare at it, for a few seconds. I got an idea. I get up and go for a pen. When I was still in the Capitol, just before I came here, my doctor told me that I should find a hobby, besides haunting obviously, something more "peaceful", I'm probably not good at what I'm going to do, but it will help to distract myself.

I return to the couch, I open the book, after the section I made with Peeta, I leave a few pages and then I write.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen. I was born in District 12. It's my home. I got reaped for the Hunger Games. Twice. I survived. Twice. The rebels got me. The Capitol took Peeta. They hijacked him. The War. I am the Mockingjay. I was... My sister was killed during the war. We won. There are no Games now. I'm better now. I'm with Peeta. He still has flashbacks. I will help him. I need him. I won't give up".

I put the pen down. This is not a book, no one will read this except for myself, it's not meant to be good but it helps me, with this, I won't forget.

I remember last night's dream, it's still fresh on my mind. Sometimes, when I wake up from a nice dream, I forget it immediately or after a while, I don't want to forget what I dreamed last night, so I begin writing down a little of everything, since the day I got reaped, my dream included, I finish with "I won't give up on Peeta.".

My hand aches of so much writing, I should have spent two hours or so, but when I look at the clock, I realize I've spent more than four hours writing, it's getting dark and Peeta will be here soon.

CHAPTER 22

Monster

Peeta will get here anytime. What if he's already outside the door? I'm not ready, I still don't know what I will tell him, I'm still caught on the words I wrote in the book. How stupid I am. Instead of thinking of what I would tell Peeta I found myself writing my past, the Games and everything that haunts me every waking moment since the Reaping... I should have written what I would tell Peeta, so I didn't forget and knew exactly what to say, I should have practiced it, but no.

"Ugh!", I say to myself as I punch a pillow. I'm sitting on the couch, and I stay there for a while, telling myself how stupid I am.

I shiver. The snow melted a couple of months ago, but a little cold is still here. I walk to the chimney and make a fire. The smoke will probably betray me when Peeta's coming home, he will know some one build a fire in his house and it couldn't be anyone but me.

Though, too late. I already did it.

I go back to the couch and wait for Peeta. I'm not prepared. Yesterday, I knew exactly what I wanted to tell Peeta, but now, no words will come. Besides, I'm not presentable, I'm still wearing the clothes I wore two days ago, my hair is completely messy and I don't even want to imagine how my face is. And I haven't taken a shower in two days. Now, I'm not just stupid, I'm disgusting.

I grunt. The hate I'm throwing to myself is interrupted by the sound of the door opening. I hear Peeta stepping into the house and closing the door behind him.

I'm still facing the fire and not him, but I didn't notice that the moment he entered, I tensed all over.

"Katniss", Peeta says with bewilderment and something else in his voice I cannot figure out, maybe something with amazement and something else.

"What are you doing here?", he says, still standing where he is.

I order myself to calm down. I turn and face him.

"Well, I used to live here before you kicked me out", I say and in the moment I say it I regret it. I can't be angry at him, not now or this will be a failed mission. It wasn't his fault.

"Sorry...", I say. "We need to talk".

He seems to ignore what I just said.

"How long have you been here?", he says as a panicked face takes over him. He drops to the ground the bags he was carrying and begins walking towards me.

"Katniss, how long have you been here?", he asks again, his voice trembling. At first, I give him a confused look but then, I get it. He must think I already saw the destroyed room upstairs, what he did.

Slowly, I begin to stand up and taking a step towards him. "Peeta, it's oka-".

"No, Katniss it's not!", he blurts out. He's shaking, he puts his hands to his face, trying to shut everything out.

"No...", he whispers. I think he's about to have a flashback. Now, I come closer to him, fast. I try to reach for his hand but he takes a step away violently. He looks up at me and I see his blue eyes are still the same, but horror fills them.

"Don't touch me! I'm a monster!", he shouts.

"Peeta, please come here. Let's calm down and talk", I say as calmly as possible. He looks at me fearful, holding his hands into fists. He stays like that for a while.

"Come", I say softly and sit on the couch in front of the fire. He hesitates for a long moment but then, he finally sits, though at the very other side of the couch.

"You shouldn't be here...", he says still trembling.

"But I am, Peeta. And I won't leave", I say. He looks at me, his eyes are swollen, dark circles below them. I can see he hasn't sleep for a couple of nights. He has bruises over his arms too, his nails broken. He looks almost like after we rescued him from the Capitol.

I look away from him, I tried to do it discretely but I can't help it, I can't bear looking at him like that. I stare at the ground.

He looks away too. "I could hurt you...", he says.

"You wouldn't", I say.

"I'm a monster, Katniss".

"No-".

Before I can keep going he blurts out, "Yes I am, Katniss! I'm a monster! You saw me the other day, you saw what I did upstairs, you're watching me right now! I'm a monster!".

A monster. I just realized that that word, drives me crazy, Peeta's not a monster and he will never be.

Now, I move closer to him, my leg is touching his, as soon as he feels me come near him, he tenses all over and tries to pull away but I begin talking.

"Peeta, look at me", I say but his avoiding me, looking at the ground. "Look at me!", I say maybe a little too harshly. I grab his chin with my hand so he's looking up at me. He tenses all over as soon as I touch him but I don't care.

"You are not a monster. Did you hear me? You're not a monster.", I say and let go of him.

"This is my fault... I made this to you, I'm the only monster here, it's all my fault", I say.

He doesn't respond to that. I don't say anything either for a while.

"Why did you return here?", he asks still looking at the ground.

I stay silent for a moment. "Because I owe you...", I say, but it didn't sound right... that's not my main reason. "And because I need you", I bring myself to say.

At this, he looks up at me. His eyes, shining with tears.

Suddenly, he can't hold them anymore and he breaks out crying. I feel helpless, I don't know what to do. I know that if I try to comfort him, he will push me away.

Peeta's sobbing helplessly, I've never seen him like this before and I feel miserable. I hesitate a little but then, I slip my hand through his, he tenses and tries to pull away but I don't let him.

"We will get over this. Together", I say.

He just nods briefly, sobbing. The rest of the evening we spend it like this. After a moment, he allows me to move my hand up and down his back, I feel is all I can do. I want to cry with him but I order myself not to, I have to be strong, for him.

CHAPTER 23

Can't Let Go

Peeta finally stopped crying but he looks so bad. His eyes are swollen, I know he hasn't slept for days, and I think he hasn't eaten for days too, he looks weak, defeated. And I hate to see him like this.

Peeta's sitting beside me, he's holding his face in his hands as if he couldn't held himselft anymore. He let go of my hand a while ago.

I put my hand in his back slightly. "Peeta", I say softly. I get nothing in response, Peeta is as still as a statue.

"Peeta,", I say a little louder this time, getting a little closer to him, I'm afraid he can't hear me. "I think we should get some sleep". We are both exhausted, well, I guess Peeta more than I do but we need to rest.

Peeta waits a moment before he says, "I can't", he says dryly.

I'm about to say -You can- but I would say it annoyingly because I'm tired but I take a deep breath. I try to put myself in Peeta's shoes. How could he sleep with everything that's going on? I couldn't. The nightmares...

"You can try...", I say, it's stupid I know. "We can sleep togther, upstairs and face the nightmares toge-", Peeta suddenly looked up at me, getting up from the couch abruptly.

"No. Katniss, I can't be near you", he says holding a hand out as if to stop me. "You should go", he says.

Again with this, how will I make him understand I won't leave?

"I'm not going anywhere.", I say. "I'm going to stay right here. I won't leave", I say steadily.

Peeta looks at me for a moment, then he lowers his hand. I think I finally made him understand.

"Then, I will go.", he says walking towards the door.

I stare in confusion and then I get he meant it.

"Hey!", I say walking to him. He's on the door now, he opens it but I'm already there too, I close it and leave my hand there so Peeta won't open it again. For a brief moment I'm so close to Peeta I can feel his breath but then he takes several steps back.

"Katniss please, let me go.", he says weakely.

I lean in the door and then I slide down until I'm sitting in front of the door. "I won't. I can't", I say.

Peeta then sits on the floor, right where he is.

"Why?", he says.

"Because I can't let go of you!", I blurt out. "Why do you need to hear me say it?!", I say.

Peeta just looks at me, right now, I can't identify that look, I don't know what he's thinking, but I think I notice a hunt of surprise in his expression.

I smile defeatly at the floor though none of this has humor. "It's true... I need you.", I say.

I'm not looking at him but I know he's looking at me. He says nothing, appearently, he doesn't feel the same way about me. Suddenly, I feel so angry, I would like to punch him, I feel something else in my chest, too. But I'm so tired to think about it.

Peeta and I stay like that for an hour maybe, I think it's past midnight now.

"Okay, Katniss. I won't go, I promise.", he says. "But please go to sleep", I look up at him. "Sleep upstairs, I will stay here, on the couch", he says.

I begin to shake my head and I'm about to object but Peeta says, "Please.". I look at him for a moment. I'm too tired, I won't object anymore, I know it wouldn't end well. I nod and get up, and climb the stairs.

When I'm upstairs, I look down for Peeta one last time. "Good night", I say.

He looks at me and says, "Good night", and with that, I go to bed. I don't even change into my pajamas, I cover myself with the blanket and close my eyes. I hope sleep will come to me, it will do me good. Tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully, things will get better.

Soon, I drift into sleep.

/ FEEDBACK AND REVIEWS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED❤️ Please share this with your friends, I hope you like this story! /


	11. Chapters 24-26

CHAPTER 24

Over

The next day, I woke up till late morning. I open my eyes, for a moment I feel like none of this happened, that it was just a nightmare. But then I turn myself on the bed and see the empty space beside me. And I remember everything, the flashback, my dream, Peeta... Part of me would like to stay here and to do nothing, to give up. But I push away that part of me quickly because I made a promise to myself, and to Peeta although it's unspoken, but I will save him, no matter what. I take a deep breath and get up from bed. I walk to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is a total and complete mess, and my face is a mess too. But it's sticky with tears. Did I cry during sleep? I try to remember but get nothing.

I take a shower. I intended to do it quickly but instead, I take my time, I relax and prepare myself for the day.

When I'm done, I brush my hair and it takes me a long time, I almost broke the brush. I braid it. I throw on some pants and a shirt and finally, go downstairs.

From the stairs I can see Peeta, he's laying unmovingly on the couch. I walk to him and sink on my knees beside the couch. Peeta's facing the other side so I only see his blonde hair.

"Peeta", I say soflty.

"Peeta", I say louder this time. "Wake up", He doesn't seem to hear me he doesn't move either. I guess he was really tired, I'm glad he could get some sleep...

Yesterday he said he couldn't sleep because of the nightmares... my heart begins to beat faster. "Peeta", I say shaking him this time. "Peeta! Wake up!". I get nothing.

I bite my lip anxiously. I hesitate but then I turn him so now he's facing me. "Peeta...", I put my ear to his chest, he's breathing. I shake him harshly, I know I shouldn't but I couldn't stop myself. "Peeta!", I notice a tear going down my cheek.

Suddenly, I slap him like you should never slap someone sleeping. At that, he wakes up. I jump, and fall to the ground. I lean in my elbows. "Peeta", I say catching my breath.

"What happened?", he says bewildered.

"Peeta you passed out!", I say as I come closer and try to hug him but he avoids me abruptly and I'm standing there with my arms open. He looks at me for a second and then he turns again, shutting me out.

I feel anger growing in me. I wash my tears away and take in several deep breaths, I calm myself down. How many times did I try to push Peeta away? Many, more than I would like to admit and he was never rude, he never gave up. I tell that to myself.

I look at him. I move his legs aside and I sit on the couch.

"Peeta, get up", I say and now he's ignoring me. "Peeta please, you have to get up!", I shout.

Abruptly, he manages to sit, he looks at me.

"Why Katniss? Why? I'm a monster, you will ruin your life if you stay with me, I could hurt you I'm a monster. I don't want to be one anymore I want all this to be over", he says loudly but weakely. He looks so tired, like he could break in any moment.

I ignore most of what he said, it's easier this way because it's almost impossible to hear he has given up and that he doesn't want to live anymore.I take a moment before I say, "Because after everything we've been through, we survived. We still can. Please Peeta, please, I know it's a lot to ask but you have to keep going...", I say. "Please... for me.", I say quietly. I look down, I can't bear looking at him like he is.

I take his hand with my hands and put them to my chest before he can stop me and I hold them there squeezing them. I know I will sound weak but I really need to get it out, "Please Peeta, don't leave me. I need you, please...", I say with tears running down my face. He searches my eyes and after a moment, I manage to face him and look into his eyes, now I can see something else besides terror and fear but I don't know what it is. Suddenly, he looks down and nods briefly.

I take a moment to calm down, but then I let go of his hand and wash my tears. I get up and take Peeta to the kitchen.

"You need to eat something", I say.

"I'm not hungry", says Peeta.

"Peeta you were not sleeping, you were unconscious! Your body needs food".

He shakes his head weakely.

"You will not starve yourself to death, you hear me?Even if I have to tie you to a chair and feed you. I won't let you". I said it as steadily as I could, now he looks at me. I think he's about to say -Why?- but I give him a warning look before he says it.

The rest of the day, I argue with him and give him speeches of how he can't give up. He manages to eat something too though I had to feed him. This reminds me of the first Games, the cave, the kiss, everything. And I had the determination to save Peeta as I have it now.

CHAPTER 25

He's Back

1 month later

I open my eyes. I stretch my arms out and I feel no one beside me, Peeta's not here. For a brief second, my heart skips a beat, but then I remember that he's downstairs. Since I decided to return here with him, at first, Peeta wanted me to go and I told him I wouldn't leave. Then, he said he would go and again, I didn't let him. He fears to have a flashback again but ting me. I keep telling him he wouldn't but he doesn't believe it. Since that first flashback I witnessed, everything is different. Peeta looks haunted everytime though each day, a little less. Everytime he sees me, he tenses, I know he tries not to but I think he can't help it, though I have to admit it was a lot worse before, when I just returned.

Now, he manages to talk a little with me, to sit next to me at the table, or watch TV together. But he wouldn't pass the nights here with me, instead he insisted on me sleeping on his bed and he sleeps downstairs on the couch. And of course, we haven't kissed or anything like that, and I miss him so much. It's kind of ironic, when Peeta was hijacked, he thought I was a monster, and wanted to kill me. And know, when he gets a flashback he thinks he is a monster and he's afarid to hurt me.

I take a deep breath and then, I get up, preparing myself for anything the day has for me. Before I go downstairs, I take a quick shower, when I'm done, I put on a shirt and pants. I brush my hair and leave it like that.

I go down the stairs. Peeta is not on the couch, the blanket is tossed on the ground.

Every day I have found Peeta laying on the couch, awake. I had to go with him and convince him to get up, I think he has kinda given up, not wanting to live another day, hating himself, at first it was almost unbearable seeing him like that, it's still painful but I will save him, I won't give up, again, Peeta has to live, he has to survive.

I stop dead at the steps, my heart skipping a beat, he's not there and everything is silent. I go down the last step and I hear a noise, I loom at the kitchen and see no one there but then, I see a blonde head behind the counter. I walk toward it. Peeta's on the ground, apperantely, he dropped something and he's picking it up.

"Hey", I say.

Peeta jumps a little, I think I scared him.

"Oh, hey", he says standing up and looking at me. Wow, something's different, he looked at me and said hey without freaking out.

"What are you doing?", I ask.

"I was going to make breakfast but I dropped an egg", he says looking down at the broken egg on the floor.

Before I can stop myself I snort and begin laughing. I cover my mouth with my hand but I can't help it.

"What?", he says. I see a small smile painting on his face, it's little but it's there.

I giggle. "Sorry. But I never thought of Peeta Mellark, dropping an egg", I say sarcastically and laughing again. I don't want to, not with this situation, but this is really hilarious, I never thought he could drop an egg. This is so stupid.

Peeta laughs a little, and he surprises me. I haven't seen a smile on his face for days and I thought it would be a longer time before I would hear him laugh. He looks down at the floor smiling and laughing a little too.

There's that smile. That sweet smile that only Peeta could own. I feel a hint if joy in my chest.

We laugh for a little while and then we stop.

"Well, now that we've run out of eggs, what should we eat?", I say.

Peeta walks to the fridge and opens it. "Hmmm... I think we've run out of everything", he says. It may be true actually, we haven't made shopping in days.

"There's some dough for waffles... do you want-?", he says but I interrupt.

"Yes!", I say. I love waffles.

Peeta takes the ingredients out and I quarrel myself, I shouldn't have this behavior right now.

"Well, let's eat breakfast and then I will go shopping", I say.

Peeta hesitates and he says, "I'll go with you".

"No, it's Sunday, your free day. I'll go, you stay here", I say it and not as a question. Peeta just nods agreeingly.

Peeta makes the waffles and I just watch him, but I do not let myself look at him for too long. This is a start, I think. I didn't have to get Peeta up today, he got up by himself, without my speech of how I would help him and he shouldn't give up. Maybe, little by little, I'm getting Peeta back. I smile slightly.

I hear a whistle, it comes from the living room, it's the mockingjay. I walk to the living room and find the mockingjay in his cage. At first, I had it on a box but then I took him to the veterinary and bought him a birdcage, the doctor told me if I wanted to leave him there, to heal, but I said no, that I would take care of him. So I just bought the cage and food. I walk toward him, his birdcage is open, I always live it like this, I hate the idea of keeping him locked in a cage, so I leave it open but he still doesn't dares to fly, but I know eventually, he will. I caress his wing softly with my finger and whistle him Rue's four notes song. He repeats it.

"Good boy", I say and then I return to the kitchen with Peeta.

Breakfast is ready, I take our plates to the table and wait for Peeta. He comes and sits across from me on the table.

"Bon appetit", Peeta says smiling a little.

"Thanks", I say smiling too. I take a mouthful of my waffles. Today Peeta looks different, I'm curious and I want to ask what's going on but I'm afraid I'll ruin this so I keep my mouth shut. We don't talk much during breakfast when we're done, I get up and pick the dishes up. I toss them on the sink and begin washing them. I feel Peeta come behind me.

"I'll do it Katniss", he says.

"No, it's okay", I say.

"Let me", he says, now I look at him, until now I realized how different he looks. He looks almost like he used to, his eyes are not swollen, that haunted look left his face, I can barely see the remains of his bruises, he's back.

"Besides, you have to do the shopping", he says smiling a little.

I nod and dry my hands. I look at him for a moment.

"What?", he says.

"You look different", I say. He stares at me for a moment, I change the subject quickly, I don't want to push him. "So... do you need anything? Do you want me to get you something from the bakery or the shop?" I ask.

Peeta takes a moment to think. "Actually, if you could get me something from the bakery...", he says.

"Sure, anything".

"I left a box on the second floor beside the door, it's there. Can you get it for me?".

"Yes, sure", I say.

We stare awkwardly at each other for a while, not knowing if to say goodbye so I break the tension and go for my coat. I'm about to open the door, I look at Peeta and wave at him, he waves back smiling a little. I smile at him and walk out the door.

CHAPTER 26

Delly

I'm walking through the Square, it's completely recovered now, the only part in the District which is.

I'm standing right where I was standing when Gale was whipped, I shiver and try to push it away, the thought of Gale still hurts and I don't want to think about it. I keep walking, I would got to the Hob if it was here but is not. Instead, I go to the District's store, I've been there a few times though it's usually Peeta who does the shopping but I don't mind doing it myself. I wonder why its always Peeta and not me, I step in into the store and a little bell above me rings.

"Hey, Katniss!", says Delly from behind the counter. I just remembered the reason why I don't come here frequently, because of her. Delly Cartwright. The girl who seems to show more interest in Peeta than she should have. I don't know, I can't help it but I don't like her.

"Hey", I say struggling myself with a smile. Delly is walking towards me.

"Katniss, it's been so long! You're looking great! How are you?", she says.

I try to keep walking but she's in my way, "I'm fine, thank-", she interrupts. "How's Peeta?", she says. "I haven't seen him in a while", a worried look taking over her face.

"We're fine, thanks Delly. He's just...sick", I say finally being able to keep with my way. I walk farther into the store.

Delly follows me, I make a face but she didn't see me. "Oh! Poor thing! Want me to stop by and-", she begins.

"No, no. It's okay thank you.". I go to the hallway that reads 'fruits'.

"So are you guys a 'thing'"?, she asks a little too inocently for me to believe it.

I turn to her. "I don't know, Delly.", I say a bit annoyed. "I'm in a hurry.".

"Oh it's okay, we can talk later. Say Peeta hi for me!", she says. I think I'm always a little rude with her but she never seems to notice so it's fine by me.

I grab some things from the store like fruits, meat, bread and though for hot cakes of course. When I'm done, I walk to the cashier and pay. When I'm about to leave, Delly squeaks from behind, "Bye Katniss!".

I wave goodbye at her, desperate to leave.

"Tell Peeta I say hi!", I just nod and go.

When I'm outside, I walk to the bakery making half a grunt and half a gasp.

I make my way to the bakery and enter. There's a lot of people, it's common on Sundays.

Jonas sees me and says, "Hi, Katniss!", at that, people turn around and stare at me and mock, I know they try to do it discretely but without much success. I could almost say I'm getting used to it but it'll never stop bothering me. But I can do nothing about it so I just ignore it.

I wave at Jonas and walk to the counter where he is.

"How's Peeta?", he says. Peeta didn't go to work the last days since the flashback.

"He's just sick but he's better, thanks", I say.

"Good, tell him it's okay if he needs to take another week, I understand", he says.

"I will", I say smiling.

"So did you come for some bread?", he asks.

"Oh, no no. I was just getting something for Peeta, it's upstairs".

Jonas nods and smiles. I climb the stairs. I look around. Peeta said he needed a colored box that was beside the door of his mysterious room... I spot it.

Not the box, but the door. I walk toward it. I extend my arm, reaching for the doorknob before I realize what I'm doing. I leave my hand in the doorknob without opening it, I bite my lip. What if something private is in here? It could be nothing important though I'm curious. I stay there for a while. Should I or shouldn't I?

I bite my lip harder and then I shake my head and turn around. If Peeta wants me to see this then he will show me when he's ready. I sigh and look at the ground.

The box is actually there. I duck and take the box, it's a kind of briefcase, it's stained with paint. I guess Peeta's pencil colors or something is in here.

And with that, I walk back home.

I'm walking through the Village thinking if to stop by to say hi to Haymitch or not. I don't want to have another awkward encounter with him and Effie so I go straight to Peeta's house. I clean my feet and then I open the door and step in.

"Hey", I say. I turn and see Peeta sitting on the couch, watching with fascinated blue eyes at the Mockingjay.

I leave the bags in the kitchen just taking with me the briefcase, I walk to Peeta.

"Oh hey!", he says turning hesitantly away from the little bird. "How did it go?".

"Fine. I brought you this", I say giving Peeta the box.

He takes it and puts it beside him on the couch.

"Thanks", he says looking up at me.

"You're welcome", I say. After that, we stay quiet and it's awkward again.

For the second time in the day, I break the tension and say, "Are you hungry?", all of a sudden, I am hungry. "I'll prepare some sandwiches. Do you want one?".

"Sure", he says with a hint of confusion in his voice. I bite my lip and walk to the kitchen, I feel like I miss him, but not just him but being with him, I miss his strong arms at night, his slight touch and his sweet lips. I feel like if I'm near him, I'll do something stupid and probably kiss him so instead, I take some bread out of the bag and prepare a couple of sandwiches.


	12. Chapters 27-28

CHAPTER 27

A Metaphor

The urge to hug Peeta or even kiss him is slowly fading, I don't want to get rid of that urge but I'm not sure what Peeta and I have now and I could do something stupid and ruin whatever we actually have.

When I'm done with our sandwiches, I put each one in a plate and walk to the living room.

I open my mouth to tell Peeta dinner's ready but I shut it when my eyes adjust to what I have in front of me.

Peeta is making a drawing of the mockingjay, he has that fixed look on his eyes, as he runs his pencil through his sketchbook page, I can't see how the drawing looks but I bet is beautiful.

Slowly and quietly, I leave the sandwiches on the table, and go back to looking at Peeta and the mockingjay.

The bird is so still as if he knew he was being sketched, actually, I think he knows, he's looking right into Peeta's eyes, lost in them just like me. I realize I could stay the whole day looking at this, it's impressive, I wish I could have Peeta's skills to draw and skecth this scene myself.

Peeta seems to get finished with his drawing, I'm eager to look at it but he's taking his time examining it. When he's done, he places the sketchbook on his lap and smiles at the Mockingjay who just turned his little face to look at me. At that, Peeta looks at me too.

"Oh hey. I didn't realize you were there. For how long have you been standing there?", he says.

"Enough to see you really need some new colors and pencils", I say. It's true, his pencils and colors are so worn out, shrunken by sharpening them, I don't know how Peeta can use something so old.

"What, this?", he says showing a pencil. "They're all right".

I sit on the couch beside him, "No, they are not, Peeta. How old are they?".

Peeta takes a moment to think, "Mhhhhmm... Maybe about seven, eight years. I'm not sure".

"Eight years?", I say amazed. "We really have to get you new ones".

"No, Katniss. This are from District 11, they are artisanal from there. My dad went there to meet a friend and got me this when I was twelve, they were a birthday gift...", he seems to get lost in the memory. I forget it sometimes but Peeta lost his family too, and though his mother and siblings didn't care much, his father did, and he misses him.

I let Peeta enjoy the memory for a minute while I process what he said. "Then we'll go to District 11", I say.

Peeta looks at me, a little amazement on his face, I guess I surprised myself too with what I just said.

Peeta begins to object, "Really?", he says.

"Yeah", I say.

We both stay quiet then. If we are really doing this, I hope not to regret it.

"Why are you being so nice to me?", he says without looking at me.

"What?", I say.

"Yeah, all this last month you've been so nice to me, I still don't know why you stayed...".

"Because I miss you", I say before I can stop myself.

"I'm here for you. To put back the broken pieces. Just like you always did for me.".

I take a few seconds before I say, "And I'm-" I begin when Peeta says, "You're not going anywhere".

"Yes, I won't.", after that, it's quiet again, but we remain where we are.

The mockingjay whistles, and we look at him.

"It kinda reminds me of her", says Peeta still looking at the mockingjay.

"Her?", I say.

"Yes. Rue", says Peeta.

I actually never thought about the bird reminding me of Rue, but it actually does. The beautiful voice, the bright eyes, the spirit to keep fighting...

"I always thought of it like a he", I say. "But you're right, she reminds me of Rue too.", I smile uncounsciously at the memory of Rue.

"I just started calling her Rue.". says Peeta.

"If you give her a name it will be harder to let her go ", I say.

"Yeah, but it could be a kind of metaphor. I'm sure someday, she will fly again. And when she does, we will let her go. Maybe finally you can let go of Rue, let the pain go. And think of her as she would like you to, smile at her memory, not crying.", says Peeta.

I nod taking in what he just said. "It's a good idea I guess", I say.

"So when are we going?", I say.

"Where?", says Peeta.

"For your colors, to 11!".

"You were not serious.".

"I was", I say, "When do you want to leave?".

In that exact moment, the door bell rings.

"Who could it be?", says Peeta.

Please be Haymitch, I think though I'm sure who it is.

Peeta opens the door and there she is with that big smile, Delly.

"Oh, hi Delly", says Peeta.

"Hi Peeta!", she squeaks. She cocks her head a little and looks at me from the doorway, "Hey, Katniss!", she says. I just wave with a struggling smile.

"How are you Peeta?", she says.

"I'm good, thanks Delly", he says.

"That's great news! Katniss said you were sick so I just stopped by to see how you were".

Delly and Peeta talk for a while as I sit on the couch as I make an annoyed face.

Delly finally says good bye to Peeta, and then she goes. Peeta closes the door and comes back to sit beside me.

I know I still have an annoyed look on my face.

"What?", says Peeta.

I know that if we were not in this situation Peeta and I, he would say I'm jealous and he would be totally right. So I just say, "Nothing".

CHAPTER 28

Lifeless

It's dark now, the sun set a few hours ago, I yawn.

Peeta and I are still on the couch, I just realized we spend a lot of time here.

I take Peeta's sketchbook from the little table in front of me.

"May I?", I ask Peeta who's beside me.

Peeta hesitates a little before he nods.

I open the book, I intended to see the Mockingjay sketch only but curiosity is killing me.

It's the first page, and there's a woman who I don't recognize at the beginning, and then a memory flashes across my head, an angry woman slapping her son on the face, a rainy day. This is Peeta's mom.

"How old is this?", I ask. I guess this sketchbook must be as old as Peeta's brushes and pencils.

"My father gave me this too, a year before he brought me the colored pencils and everything. When I had a little free time at the bakery, I made this", he says meaning the whole book. "I guess my father saw I liked drawing so he brought me all this a year later", he says looking at the briefcase with the pencils.

I look again at the drawing, his mother's eyes look so... lifeless. Like if all the love was drained from them, she looks almost haunting. I realize this must be the only thing Peeta has to remember how his mother looked. A pang of guilt and sadness hits me and I feel like holding Peeta's hand or something, maybe it was a mistake to open this.

I begin to close the book, "Maybe I should-".

"No, it's okay", Peeta says.

I look at him and then finally nod. I turn the page, now it's a man who's sketched there, his father must be.

"I never got to say goodbye", says Peeta.

I look at him, "I wish I had", he says shortly.

Unlike his mother, his father looks like a kind man. My mom used to talk about him sometimes. I remember when he came before my first Games and gave me some cookies, they were almost as beautiful as Peeta's.

"He would be proud of you", I say. I know he heard me but he says nothing.

Suddenly, I slip my hand through his and turn the other page.

In this page there's a little girl, with two braids down her back, I don't recognize her at first but then I realize it's me.

"Is that-?".

"Yes it is.", says Peeta. "That was the day I first saw you, I don't remember much though... That day is kind of a blur...".

I look at the girl, it looks almost as a photograph though it's on black and white. For me it's like a blur too, I don't quite remember being her, she looks unknown. Happiness in her eyes, a smile on her face...

"That day, you volunteered to sing a song during music class. You were the only one who knew it perfectly and you sang in front of everyone. Real or not real?", says Peeta.

I do remember that and still, it looks foreign, I miss that little girl.

"Real", I say swallowing tears.

Peeta doesn't seem to notice but I feel the tears about to come out since I first opened this book.

I turn the page quickly, this is colored now, I don't get the drawing at first, it's a dandelion and the surroundings are full of grass, but in the distance, I see two little braids, a little girl, me again.

I suppose this is when Peeta followed me home, I didn't see him, never.

"I can't remember of doing this...", says Peeta.

I turn the page, the next five drawings are of me as a child too, and then, there's Peeta's family again.

They are all there, his mother beside his father, behind Peeta's siblings, but he's not there. I guess he has no picture or drawing with them, the only thing he has left of them are this drawings, now the tears are running down my cheeks, silently. I turn the page quickly, the next drawing is me again. It's the cave from the first Games, I'm sleeping, a big scratch across my forehead, it's full of blood, Clove threw her knife at me and did this.

The next is Rue, in her bed of flowers, just like the one he drew before the Quell. In the next pages I see Clove with her deadly eyes, about to throw a knife. Glimmer dying on the ground, I know it's Glimmer because of her contorted body, full of tracker jackers. I see the mutts too, with the same color of hair and eyes of each dying tribute.

And there's me, I'm everywhere, with my bow, braiding my hair, at the rooftop with my crown of flowers, it's the only one where I'm smiling.

Then, there's a drawing of me with my wedding dress turning into a Mockingjay.

In the next drawing, there's the bluest sea I ever seen, and on the shore, is Finnick with his trident, lost in thought. A tear runs down my cheek and falls on the drawing, on the sea.

Finnick... how I wish he could be here, an ugly sob escapes my mouth as I run my fingers through the drawing. I turn the page and see Johanna and Beetee chatting on the shore, Beetee with the wire on his hands.

There's me again, watching the pearl Peeta gave me on the beach.

The monkey mutts are there too, on another page. I see a few more drawings from the Quell. Then, some empty pages and after that, there's a dark room, a figure is crouched on a corner, it's Peeta, his eyes swollen with no blue on his eyes. I gasp and put my hand above my mouth, this was how he looked when he was hijacked, he has his hands over his ears, trying to shut the screamings from the other cells. I realize I'm shaking so I turn the page quickly, but it's even worse. It's me...but I look inhumane... my eyes are red, instead of nails, I have claws and fangs, I look rabid, a nightmare, I stare shockingly at it, and this time, is Peeta who turns the page.

There are a few more drawing of me, but I look like a living nightmare, this is how Peeta saw me.

When those horrible pages are over, there's a girl and a boy, then I realize it's Annie and Finnick on their wedding day, they are holding hands, and Annie's looking up at Finnick and Finnick at her. They are both smiling brightly lost in each other's eyes, totally in love, an enormous happiness surrounding them.

This is too much, I get up and go to the bathroom. I'm sobbing now, I doubt I'll sleep tonight, I look at myself in the mirror. Who am I? Without all those people I couldn't save, in who does that make me? I stay for a few minutes in the bathroom before I calm myself down, I wash my tears away.

I take a deep breath and go back with Peeta, he's not on the couch anymore, instead, he's standing in front of the chimney, looking at the fire, the sketchbook in hand. He begins to extend his arm, the book closer to the fire. My body reacts before my mind, and I'm running, quickly, I'm there.

"No!", I say. I stop Peeta from doing what he was about to do.

Peeta looks at me confused, "But-", he begins.

"Don't. Don't do that", I say.

"But I thought you hated them...", he says.

"I do. Some of them. But they are beautiful", I force myself to say though I believe they are.

I take Peeta's sketchbook in my hands, "This, this is the only thing you have left of your family. You can't burn it. It's part of you" I say. "Maybe it was a mistake to see it today, but when we are ready, we will see it again, and the pain will be less", I say.

Peeta nods looking into my eyes.

We go back to the couch, I lean my head in Peeta's shoulder.

"I'm sorry", he says.

"Why?".

"For everything". he says, "For-",

"Shh.", I say.

We stay there for a while and my eyelids become heavy and I yawn.

"We should go to sleep.", I say and get up, I walk to the stairs and begin climbing them, I stop at the middle and look back at Peeta, he's staring at the floor.

With a hint of hope I say, "Are you coming?".

Peeta stays still for a moment before he shakes his head briefly. The hope drains from my body, "Okay", I say felling a rock on my throat so quietly I'm not sure I said it.

Exhausted not phisically but emotionally, I turn and keep walking.

/ FEEDBACK AND REVIEWS ARE SO DEEPLY APPRECIATED❤️ I'll keep updating on this story! I really hope you're enjoying it! If you have any friends who would like to read it, please tell them and share When the Fire Ceased


	13. Chapters 29-31

**CHAPTER 29**

**A Living Nightmare**

I take my clothes off and put on a nightgown Cinna made. I'm shaking, haunted by Peeta's drawings, haunted by the mutt he thinks I am. I sit on the bed, from the bureau beside my side of the bed, I get the pearl Peeta gave me. I take it to my lips as the first tear goes down my face.

I lean and cover myself with the blankets as I sob silently, the pearl on my lips.

I turn the lights off although I'm scared of being in the darkness right now, without Peeta but it will be easier to get sleep like that, I hope.

Amazingly, I drift into sleep, it must be the exhaustion because I thought I would never find sleep again.

But I go the the land of nightmares.

_I'm standng in the darkness, everything's black. I try to stay calmed but panic is taking over me. I turn around and see a figure standing feets away from me, I can only see his back but I know it's Peeta. _

_"Katniss, help me", he says. Then, he begins running along the endless corridor. I chase him. "Peeta, wait", I say as I keep running. Everytime I think I reached him , he slips through my fingers, they find nothing. I keep chasing him, my lungs begging for air but I can't stop, not even if I try to. "Help me!", Peeta screams._

_"Peeta!", I say and he keeps running faster, I can't see his face. The dark corridor seems to never end, and neither Peeta or me. _

_He's screaming. _

_It seems like an eternity of running, not able to catch Peeta. After several hours, he suddenly stops. _

_I stop too. "Katniss", he says and then, he drops dead. _

_"Peeta!", I scream. I try to move to him but I can't, I'm stuck. He doesn't move, I know he's not breathing, he's gone. I sob desperately. _

_"Peeta", I say._

_"What?", someone says from behind me. I turn around. And there he is, Peeta. _

_I stare filled with horror. "But...", I say turning around to see Peeta lying on the ground, unmoving. Then I turn again and see the boy standing there, it's Peeta but his eyes are totally black, it's hijacked Peeta._

_"He's dead", he says. "You killed him.". _

_"No-", I say._

_"You killed me! You're a mutt!", he looks rabid._

_Abruptly, he begins to run, fastly, towards me. _

_I begin to run too, but he's faster than me, quickly, he already reached me._

_The corridor gets to an end and I slam into the wall. _

_Peeta comes closer, "And now, it's my turn to kill you.", he extends his arms to strangle me and all I do is scream. _

I wake up screaming, gasping for air and unable to take some in.

Peeta bursts into the room, "What happened?", he says agitated.

Fear takes over me when I see Peeta, I scream and get up from bed, I crouch in the corner of the room, I'm still on a nightmare, he's here to kill me.

"Katniss!", he says coming closer.

"No! Stay away from me!", I shout.

I close my eyes and hold my head with my hands, I can't see him, he's going to kill me.

"It's just me, Peeta", he says.

"Please! Don't kill me!", I say.

He begins to come closer.

"Please! Somebody help! Help!", I gasp.

"Katniss, calm down! It's me! Peeta", he says not getting closer anymore.

I keep screaming for help several times, just before I have no more voice and I begin sobbing desperately, shaking violently. "Help", I gasp.

I hear the door bell ringing, twice, three, four times and then, the door opening. I hear footsteps coming closer and then I see him standing on the doorway, Haymitch.

"What the hell is going on?", he says agitated looking at us.

"Haymitch, help me!", I say.

"I don't know, I heard her scream so I came here and then she began screaming and crying again, I think she's in some kind of nightmare", says Peeta.

"A nigtmare?", Haymitch says.

"A bad one", says Peeta.

Haymitch begins walking towards me, he sinks on his knees beside me. He takes my hands gently from my face, "Hey sweetheart, everything's okay", he says.

"No... Help me...", I say weakly. I feel like I'm loosing counciousness, Haymitch helps me too my feet and then he carries me.

With my eyes half open, I see Peeta standing there, a sad look on his face, Haymitch takes me out of the room, and then it's dark.

CHAPTER 30

Limbo

I drift into a kind of limbo after that, not able of waking up. Am I dreaming? I see people, Peeta, Haymitch, my mom, even Gale. I try to talk to them but they don't hear me.

I hear a beep, a kind of alarm. Finally, I'm able to lift the weight of my eyelids, slowly but I'm doing it. I try to say something but no sound escapes my mouth.

I see a woman walking to me, she looks alarmed, she begins calling out for someone and a doctor comes in. I'm in the hospital, how did I get here? Then, I can't hold it back and drift into counciousness again. I see memories in my mind, and I discover how I got here, I remember the drawings, the flashback, the nightmare, Peeta. My head whirls around Peeta and I'm not able to stop it, it's like a tornado of feelings, images and emotions. And then nothing.

I feel someone sitting on the bed where I am, touching my leg. Weakly, I try to open my eyes, not succeeding the first time but after some tries, I open them fully. The light hurts my eyes, I take a moment before my vision adjusts, and then I see who's sitting in front of me. Haymitch.

"Hey sweetheart", he says giving a short smile. I try to make myself into a sitting position, Haymitch helps me.

"What happened?", I say. I'm not sure that what I remember is real. "Why am I here?", I say rubbing my eyes.

"I can ask you the same question", he says. "What did you dream, that night?".

I dig in my memories and then I tell Haymitch what I think I dreamed, I feel different now, I don't know if I'm scared, sad, relieved...

"The doctor said your nightmare reached a point where you sleepwalked, you woke up but you thought you were still on the nightmare, you were afraid of Peeta, you thought he was trying to kill you. Fortunately, I was sober and your screams woke me up, I went straight to your house and found you. I tried to calm you down but after that you passed out. You've been uncouncious for a couple of days", says Haymitch.

"And what did Peeta do?", I ask.

"He cried", he says. "Most of the time. I felt helpless and just patted his back while he cried. He blames himself for all of this, he wanted to go but I stopped him, I thought you would like to see him, he thinks you're still asleep". "Do you want me to bring him or-".

I cut him. "When can I leave?", I say.

"I guess that depends on the doctor", says Haymitch.

In that moment, the doctor came in. "Hello, Katniss", he says.

"I'm going to leave you alone", says Haymitch getting up and walking to the door. I don't want him to go but he's already outside. I don't look at the Doctor.

"I'm Doctor Robin and I'm here to help you", he says.

"I don't want your help", I say.

"But you need it. I think therapy could do you some good-", he begins.

"I don't want your stupid therapy", I say louder.

"I think you need it...", he says.

I begin disconecting myself and getting up from bed walking to the door. Dr. Robin follows me, but I begin walking faster before he thinks of something like sedating me. Everyone is staring at me, I'm just in my hospital robe. An alarm begins ringing, and some nurses are telling me to stop. But I just want to get out of here, I begin running. I turn in a corridor and I stamp into someone. Peeta.

"Katniss", he says looking up and down myself, blushing a little.

I look into his eyes but before I can say something, someone grabs me from behind.

"Katniss, you have to come back or I'm going to sedate you", says Dr. Robin.

I turn to look at him, he's grabbing me by the arm, "Let go of me", I say as his grip grows stronger. He begins dragging me back to my room.

"Hey, let her go", says Peeta walking after us.

"Let me go", I say. I jerk my arm from his grip and walk away, but he grabs me again, stronger this time, he's almost hurting me. He takes out a syringe to sedate me.

"Hey! Let her go!", says Peeta. But Dr. Robin is taking the syringe to my arm, but before he can sedate me, Peeta slams his fist into the Doctor's nose. He let's go of me and I loose balance but Peeta cathes me in his arms. Dr. Robin's nose is bleeding, he takes his hand to it. Security takes Peeta and nurses take me, one finally sedates me, I can't move and they drag me back to my room where I pass out again.

CHAPTER 31

Heroic

I'm sick with loosing counciousness. I make myself wake up, I need to get out of here. I open my eyes and lift myself up into a sitting position, I do it too fastly because I'm beginning to feel dizzy.

Someone is opening the door, I freeze. I don't want to see Doctor Robin ever again.

A woman enters the room. Well, more like a girl, she must be seven or eight years older than me.

"Hi, Kaniss", she says. She looks very young to be a doctor and I know she's not a nurse because she's wearing the same white robe Dr. Robin used. She has big green eyes and brown almost red hair, she's not from Twelve.

"How are you doing?", she says.

I snort. "Really?", I say scowling.

"Yes, how are you feeling?", she insists. I hate doctors and I don't trust them but something seems different about this girl, she's not looking at me like if I was wounded or crazy. "I bet you feel kind of... lost.".

Lost. I guess there's no word more appropriate than lost. I feel lost. "I think I do", I say shortly.

"I would say you need my help but I know you don't want it. So if you wish, I can discharge you tonight.", she says looking at me.

I stare at her with confusion.

"I know you don't want to be here, so we can make a deal", she says. I nod. "I can let you go this time, but next time, you will need my help, and you will have to take it", she says. Something about her looks so... strict.

"Is that okay with you?", she says.

I nod. She smiles just a little and for a second, then she goes to check some things on the monitor. Something about her looks familiar to me. "So are you my new doctor?", I say, my voice sounds rough and weak.

"Indeed, I am. After Dr. Robin practically dragged you here and tried to sedate you, that boy... Peeta? Hit him on the nose, security took the boy, he's not allowed to enter here so he's downstairs on the cafeteria, I guess you would like to see him. But I'm okay with what he did, Dr. Robin is a jerk, I never liked him. No one does, actually. But don't worry, he'll never come near you again", she says. She looked like a girl who didn't talk much but actually she does. I like her.

I just smile at her.

"So... don't you wanna see him?", she says.

I avoid her question now, I still don't know how I feel about Peeta.

She looks at me and then she sits beside me on the bed.

"I think he did what he did because he cares very much for you. He's not gotten out of here since you arrived, he's not going anywhere.", she says.

I wait a moment before I say, "So am I allowed to leave?".

"Not yet but until tonight. You can walk around the clinic though", she says.

I think about it. It will do me good some fresh air. I get up from bed slowly, my legs feel numb. I walk slowly to the door, I open it.

"Thank you, doctor...", I say but I can't remember her name. Well I don't know her.

"Meredith", she says. I smile at her and then I get out of the room.

I walk through the corridors, people are staring at me, either because I'm just on my hospital robe and have no shoes, or because I am me. Maybe both of them aren't a good combination. I go down the elevator, fortunately, I'm alone. I don't even know where I'm going I just know I'm going to the first floor where there must be a garden and I can breath fresh air. The elevator doors open and I get out. There's the cafeteria, I would grab something to eat but I'm not hungry so I go to the garden which is just a few steps away.

With my bare feet I step into the grass. I take deep breaths, the sun's light hurts my eyes at first but it's gone after a few seconds.

Suddenly I feel tired, it must be the anesthesia so I sit on a bench. I look around, it's a nice day, there are no clouds and the sun is shining. In the other side of the garden is somebody in a bench just like mine, I can only see his back but I know it's Peeta.

I hesitate a little before I walk towards him and sit beside him. He doesn't look at me.

"Hey", he says.

"Hey", I say.

We stay quiet for the next minutes, I see he has something on his hands. "I found this,", he says putting the pearl on my hand. I thought I lost it, I don't know when or where. "I didn't know you still had this", he says. "I don't remember giving it to you, I just know I did", he says. I must have dropped it when I loose counciousness the first time.

"Thanks", I say. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost it", I just realized I said it out loud, Peeta looks at me.

After a moment he says, "Sorry for not being there when you woke up, but I'm not allowed up there since I injured a Doctor", he says a little sarcastically.

"I think it was pretty heroic", I say smiling at him.

Peeta smiles too.

There's a long silence after that, neither of us wanting to say what we have in mind.

"Where does all this leaves us?", he says finally.

I didn't want to talk about this, but I know I have to face it.

"I don't know. Maybe we were going too fast. We could take a break", I say.

Peeta looks at me, not being able to hide his hurt look. He just nods. "If that's what you want", he says.

"It is", I say.

After that, we don't talk much, I return to my room and eat something, later that day, Dr. Meredith discharged me from the hospital, Peeta and I went home, he slept on the couch again.


End file.
